I already change because of you

I made this, so that you'll see that changes with in me! Do not stare because you might fall.

I'm happy before we end up like this.For sometimes I wonder why did this happen, but I know for some reasons common bad things do happen when you least expect it. I never thought it would end up this way. Sometimes I feel like I'm already dead. But as the saying says, we just have to make a choice. A choice to be good and never regret. Now as I look at this situation I really have to give up. I do not really know for who I am. Another saying is that, "There's nothing permanent in this world except changes..." And for sure, there would be a valid reason for this. Making bad things happen, having pain in the heart, and making a fool out of myself makes me, not the real type of character.But why am I doing this? Is this fate, or just being martyr, and playing a part of hiding myself in prison. But now, I know I have to move on..

If I can make it...

There's nothing more serious situations like this. Making this happen makes me cold. I'm changing and you made a big part of it. That big change made me like a steel, soaring high on anything. I do not care what will be the negative result but this is what I chose. I will search for myself too like what you said to me. I like the position I'm in right now. And I know me to you does not really matter at all. Even though you used to say you love me still. I know my capacity. I can rock any body's world as long as I want to and you know that.....

I'm letting you go. You made your decision. And I know that's what you want. I'm not use to this. And I am no use to you either. Thanks for all the lessons that you've taught me, and this will be the look I am implementing to you.. God bless and take care of yourself a lot...

I really have to go, but do not let our love be fade away....

Let my soul smile through my heart and my heart smile through my eyes. If you are hurting, it only means one sure thing... you are infact genuinely loving!! In every excitement of every hello, there lies the pain fo goodbyes in the art of letting go. Even how hard we try to deny it... sometimes the hardest things and the right things are the same. I love you but I can't love you... its very hard for me to stop my heart on loving you but somewhat that is the right thing to do. The saddest part of letting go is actually realizing that you are just holding onto the memories of what once was...sometimes, it is hard to explain why no matter how much you love each other, there comes the time that you can't have forever. I finally made my choioce to go cause I can't stand to see you crying, its time for your last tears to fall and smile again. I'm sorry for I have to leave yyou... i'm sorry if I have to hurt you.. but please believe me if I still love you..now hold your hand in mine dont forget to breath... there is nothing for you, there is for me to leave..

Fantasies sometimes do come true but in reality, it is not for you and me to grow. Goodbyes make you think and realize what you've had, what you've lost and what you've taken for granted. We both know that this is the best for the two of us... a little space cause we know we've been hurting for the past months. I don not want to leave you but somehow I hope that our roads will cross once more and that time we will gonna love each other forevermore. If you know that no matter what you do, it's not gona work. Would you still care to stay knowing that life will be a little bit worst?

Tienes me corazon, por quedate conmingo... quero estar contigo el resto de me vida...
(You have my heart, but you remain pressured... I want to be with you for the rest of your life)

por que tu no puedo quere como yo querro a ti!
(You have the power to want me.)

I'll admit it, as unhappy as we were, there is nobody in this world I could be more happier than with you! Let me fade in the middle of the endless horizon but please do not let our love vanished along!

Goodbye....

Is it over? I'm 99% sure hat you don't love me, but 1% is enough for me to hold on. If you were not will forever stay with me for the longest time you can just because my eyes do not tear, it doesn't mean that my heart does not cry. Just because it comes off a little strong, it doesn't mean that nothing is wrong. My friends once ask me if you do love me. I just closed my eyes and say "wishes do come true." If it is not you, it will never be you no matter how much I love you. But if you really care for me then we will always be no matter how I set you free. It is sad to think that you will never be mine, but it's sadder to realize that I know it all from the start.

What am I suppose to do? Just when i thought i was going to get you back, you go away from me again. If it's over, give me the chance to say goodbye but do not think that I do not care at all, cause that goodbye is my simple way of saying I LOVE YOU but i have to sacrifice...

GOODBYE!!!!

Love of myself....

A guy and a girl can be just friends but at one point or another one fo them will fall for the other,maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe to late or maybe, just maybe... forever.

Love is made by two people, in different kinds of solitude. It can be in a crowd, but in an oblivious crowd. Love makes the wildest spirit tame, and makes the tamest spirit wild. Love creates an US without destroying a ME.

The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved - love for ourselves. Life is one fool thing after another where as love is two fool things after each other. What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.

Holding the heart of another in the comforting hands of prayer is a priceless act of love. You can't force someone to love you; all you can do is become someone who can be loved; the rest is up to them. We cannot choose who we love, only whose love we accept.

Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense. True love is spelled G-I-V-E. it is not based on what you can get but rooteed in what you can give to the other person. Once you have learned to love, you will have learned to live. To love someone is nothing, to loved by someone is something, but to be loved by the one you love is everything. The pleasure of love is in the loving; and there is more joy in the passion one feels that it which one inspires.

The art of love... is largely the art of persistence...

We find rest in those we love, and we provide a resting place for those who love you. Real love begins where nothing is expected in return. Feelings are the most intimate part of a person. Sharing feelings is the greatest gift we can give one another. Never apologize for showing your feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth. They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel. It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them. Whenever you're in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. Beauty is not worth thinking about; what is important is your mind. You don't want a fifty dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. The world is moved along not only by the mighty shoves of its heroes, but also by the aggregate of tiny pushes of each honest worker. The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart. To keep our faces toward change, and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate, is strength undefeatable. Too often we enjoy the comfort of option without the discomfort of thought. Words ought to be a little wild, for they are the assault of thoughts on the unthinking. If you think you're too small to have an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito in the room. In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

My sad thoughts of Letting Go....

I guess if you're done breaking my heart, I should go...
As I stared in your eyes, you asked me why I was about to cry, cause I knew you're going to say goodbye. Why can't you see how much you hurt this time? You used to say you were sorry, now you don't. Your don't even care anymore. I never hated you for not loving me, but I hate you, for making me fall even more when I am trying to let you go. I'll never going to let you see through me. I am never going to show you how broken I am inside. My friends tell me to let go, or at least to try, but what do I do when I start to cry? I'm holding you back yet I do not want to let go. I am fighting back emotions I never fought before...

When you said you do not need me, I did not expect you to be right. My head rest on my pillow, I let the tears flow and ask myself, "Why can't I let go?" I know I have to say goodbye so many times before, but all roads lead me back to you. But now, as I say this goodbye, I have this feeling that I will never see you again. Honestly, I dont wanna cross your path in the future, Cause I do not want all these feelings to coe back and hurt me once again. I know I can't let go of my feelings, but I have to let you go..

Sorry! If it took me this long to let you go. I still love you, and I probably will love you for a very long time. But somehow I know, I have to move on and get over you. and the only way for me to do that is to be not around you anymore. Like what they say, we can't forget someone we loved, we may want to, but we can't. Love cannot be forgotten, no matter how hard we try, and how much we think it will ease the pain. It will always be there... FOREVER!!! Maybe fate will smile upon us and we'll see each other again...

SOMEDAY!!

- I made this while listening to the song "Someday" by Nina

A Love that is UNSPOKEN....

My crush on you....

As days pass by, my crush on you will always grow. I love you so much, more than what you know, I think about the days when I see you, I dream about all the things that we could do. Your sweet charming smile and your expressive eyes are powerful than my pride. I feel so nervous and uptight when you're around, but all I can do is sit here and write my feelings down. I'm so tired to pretend, but I am scared when you know the truth, things will change. We'll never be together but further at a longer range. As I sit here and write this blog for you, my tears fall because im madly in love, but you have no clue at all. I think it's time to set myself free, free from pain that cause by You. I tried so hard to forget you, but I always go back... thinking about you. I thought I will never cry when I see you from afar. But I guess I'm wrong, because it's slowly killing me inside. I wish I never met you, but somehow I'm glad cause I knew you.I try so hard to fight the urge of wanting you, because I will be so unfair for you, because You are my friend.

Why did I let myself believe that you want me too? Cause now, I have to pretend that I dont really care..
I guess it's better to leave my feelings unspoken because I do not deserve you. I try to hide it all and I must face it...

That you are only a DREAM... DREAMS that meant only for dreaming.

Dedicated to someone out there....

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back. Some people are not meant to be in your life, no matter how much you want them to be.You hug him goodbye like it's nothing, while all you want to do is hold on forever. I used to smile when I told people that you were mine, but now, I can't even smile and say your name at the same time. As much as I love you, I have to say goodbye, cause I know you would be happier if I let you go. I'm sorry if I made you cry, Im sorry if tears fell from your eyes, but remember, for every tears that fell from your eyes, two fell from mine.

Missing you isn't the hardest part, knowing I once had you, is what breaks my heart.

I'll never forget the times that we once shared, And I'll always remember how much you once cared. Now it's over, It's time to move on. It's never easy to see you turning back... but I have to take the pain, and cry all the way home cause I know it will never be the same. I know when you leave, distance will keep us apart. But distance, no matter how far, cannot change this feelings in my heart. Just turn your head when you see me, I will understand. One day, I will be able to look you in the eye, without feeling the pain I've caused you. I hope in time, you will be happy as you call my name once again. Happiness is too far for us now. But even if it's near, I know it will be hard for us to get there...

Baby, it's never gonna work out, I love you goodbye.....

- I made this while listening to the song "I Love You, Goodbye" by Nina

Hanap hanap ka ng puso...

Masakit sa akin ang iwan mo
Lalo na nang malaman kong
Walang dahilan ang iyong paglayo
Bakit ka nagbago?

Hanap hanap ka ng puso
hindi maintindihan
Kung bakit ikaw pa rin ang laman ng isipan
Hanap hanap ka ng puso
Sana'y iyong malaman
Na magpahanggang ngayon ay ikaw lamang

Puso'y di maniwalang wala ka na
Pilit pinaniniwalang nandito ka pa
Bakit ganito, hindi magbago
Ang nararamdaman para sa iyo

Hanap hanap ka ng puso
hindi maintindihan
Kung bakit ikaw pa rin ang laman ng isipan
Hanap hanap ka ng puso
Sana'y iyong malaman
Na magpahanggang ngayon ay ikaw lamang

Hinihintay pa rin, nagbabakasakali
Hinahanap hanap ka rin

Hanap hanap ka ng puso
hindi maintindihan
Kung bakit ikaw pa rin ang laman ng isipan
Hanap hanap ka ng puso
Sana'y iyong malaman
Na magpahanggang ngayon ay ikaw lamang

How do you get the person out of your heart who believe with your whole being is the one for you?

It's over, He's gone. Why do we have to part while the love is still there? Why do we have to suffer? Why do we have to cry when somebody bids goodbye? Why do beginnings have an end? Why do we have to meet only to lose in the end? there are questions left unanswered, words left unsaid, letters left unread, poems left undone, songs left unsung, love left unexpressed, promises left unfulfilled. In a relationship, one of the hardest things to do is saying goodbye and letting go. It is as hard as breaking a crystal because you'll never know when you will be able to pick up the pieces again. More often than not, they who go, feel not the pain of parting: it is they who stay behind that suffer, becasue they are left with memories of a love that was meant to be, a love that was. At the beginning and at the end of a relationship, we are embarrased to find ourselves alone. Unfair as it may seem, but that's the way love goes. That's the drama, the bittersweet and the risk of falling in love. After all, nothing is constant but change. Everything will eventually come to its end, without us knowing when, without us knowing how, without us even knowing why. And we must forget not because we have to but because we have to. in letting go, sorrows come not as a single spy but in batallion. It seems that everywhere you go, everything you do, every song you hear, every turn of your head, every move of your body, every beat of your heart, every blink of your eye and every breath you take always remind you of him. Its like a stab of a knife, a torture in the night. funny how the whole world becomes depopulated when only one person is missing. Just imagine, there are billions of people on earth and yet it seems you feel lonely and empty without the other. I don't know if it's worth calling an art, but letting go entails special skills sparkled with a considerable space and time. Not all love stories end with "... and they live happily ever after." Sometimes we have to part because of circumstances beyond our control. we have to suffer if it would mean happines for others. We have to cry to temporarily let go of the pains. Every beginning has its end like every dawn has its dusk. Its something we can't control, something we had to live up, It's over. He's gone. But life has to go on. Goodbye doesn't always mean forever. there will always be a place and time where questions will be answered, words will be spoken, letters will be read, poems will be recited in the night, songs will be sung in harmony, love will be expressed in solitude and promises will be fulfilled.

Somewhere. Somehow. Someday..

How do you get the person out of your heart who believe with your whole being is the one for you?

Dedicated to someone out there....

Love is one of the most happiest moment in our life. no words can express how happy that person is. Sometimes, you can do crazy things, unusual things... and sometimes stupid things when you're in love. Unfortunately, although love is the most happiest moment for us, It can be also the most painful experience that may encounter... breaking withsomeone is the hardest thing to do. Life is full of surprises... Sometimes, unexpected things will happen and we can do nothing but to accept it. There was one time I fell in love with someone special... And I told myself that I will never give up on that person... But one day, I did... WHY? Finally, I realized it's time to be kind to myself, masakit eh...

Why do we fall for someone who isn't really for? Should we blame ourselves for falling with a wrong one?! Should we blameourselves for falling with a wrong one?! Or should we blame the one we fell inlove for cause they made us believe that they're the right one?! Sometimes, we dream on ideal love we wanted. And when it comes... we give them all the best we can. Though we gave our best... They still hurt us for a reason that may not understand... You can cry until you want... But make it sure that the tears comes you will wash away the pain and bitternes in your heart. Forget the past and move on!

When you love... You thought you would never get tired. You thought it would never end. But sometimes, you need to be tired to realize that love too... can end, Especially if it was not meant Isn't it sad, when you have so much pain in your heart? And the only person you want to talk too and make you stop crying is..."Exactly the person who made you cry..." It's hard to lose someone who's been a part of your life, someone you've learned to love and now you can't live without.. It's hard to trust and it's hard to cry, it's hard to love and later say goodbye. But it's much harder to let go... when you really want to say "NO", but this is life's way making HEART GROW.

Thank you! for accepting me as I am. I am so happy that I cross my life with you. I will never forget you

I love you.... goodbye ... and I'm sorry

Love is not how long you hve been together; not how much you have given or receive, not how many times you hve helped each other - it is how you value each other. When I loved you, I never expect that one day we will end up like this, but it happened." There is no love with a "pain free" guarantee... we simply have to accept that getting things hurt will always be a part of loving someone. In loving, we can make mistakes but the biggest mistake you could ever do... and say it is for the best so we'll stop hurting each other." Dont rush for love for it will never runs out, let love be the one to knock out your door... so by the ime you start to fall, you know that your feeling is for sure. Sometimes, we believe that life has to move on, we reminisce about the past, but realize that good things never last somehow someway.we should let things happen to hold on to the one we loved...
Thank you cause you let me be a part of your life even though we parted ways. Thank you for being so kind to me... I will never ever forget you... you are special and you deserve to be happy. I'm so happy that I cross my life with you..." I thought that we'd see forever, but forever's gone away... somehow I know we'll meet again... not quite sure where and when ... but still you're in my heart,,, so till then...
I love you.... goodbye ... and i'm sorry

I do not know what am I gonna do...

Put away the pictures, put away the memories....

I'm going to smile and make you think I'm happy, I'm going to laugh so you don't see me cry.I'm going to let you go in style, and even if it kills me... - I'm going to smile. Never be sad for what is over, just be glad that it was once yours.

Now here it comes the hardest part of all, unchain my heart that's holding on...

The hardest part of someone is knowing when to let go, and knowing when to say goodbye. Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew.

Tried to say it's over, say the word goodbye...

Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to be broken than try to put yourself putting it back together.

You're still here in me and I can't set you free...
so I hold on to what I wanted most
baby, someday we'll be friends forevermore
wish I could open up the door...

Better never to have met you in my dream than to wake and reach for hands that are not there. And maybe this will end tomorrow or 2 weeks or 4 months or maybe even 2 years from now but no matter when it ends, I'll never regret any of it.

Guess I'm just learning, learning the art of letting go...

I hate you... and then I love you...it's like I want to throw you off a cliff then rush to the bottom to catch you. You love to hate the one who loves you the one you hate to love. The ones that you love the most are usually the ones that hurt you the most. Giving up on Love isn't Moving On Its Giving up Your Happiness. I'm sorry for crying over you, because I said I wouldn't But I didn't promise you that, Because I knew it would be a promise I would never be able to keep. Love is a precious gift that people try to hold onto until the end of time, even when there is nothing left to hold.


- I have made this while I am listening to the music "Art of Letting go by Mikaila"

My feelings towards him...

Unfortunately, although love can be the happiest feeling one could ever have, it can also be the most painful experience a person may encounter. Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back. In life unexpected things will always happen. Sometimes all you can do is to accept it even though it's hard and MOVING ON is the best thing you can do.

As a famous song says:
Now here it comes
the hardest part of all
unchain my heart that's hoding on
how do i start to live my life alone
guess i'm just learning,
learning the art of letting go

- from the "Art of Letting Go by Mikaila"

Some people are not meant to be in your life no matter how much you want them to be. To let go of someone doesn't mean you have to stop loving him, you only allow that person to find his own happiness. It is also setting yourself free. Life must go on.

In Life, unexpected things always happen and sometimes you can do nothing but to accept it, eventohugh its hard and painful... and moving on is the best thing you can do..
Be how bad or unforgettable that thing is, life must go on, I must be strong to go on and continue the things that I have started in the past..
This is my life, my faith and my destiny...

such things happens for some reasons if this is meant to be happen, so let it be... i can't force someone to love me and be with me.... i'll find the right moment and the perfect person for me., if time really heals all wounds i'll relay on that and keep things up straight... for you pah.. i love you so much

A message to someone out there who does not know my feelings towards HIM....

One of the reasons why people get so sentimental... it's because, memories are the only things that don't change...When everything else does... there are things in life that you can't hold on forever, no matter how much you fight for it. Sometimes destiny isn't always good, it becomes playful. When you met someone you learned to love, you thought that it was destiny that made your paths cross. But what if making your paths cross is just a part of the game that the playful destiny create? Making you realize in the end that the person you thought that was destined for you weren't really meant to stay...but only destined to make you feel love and leave you when you've already fallen. It's not easy to state a reason when you decide to leave your love. Some might think it's just an excuse... some might not actually believe... some will blame you some might even be mad at you... what they don't see is the fact that... It hurts you even more to hurt someone who doesn't deserve to be hurt... Especially when you can't state the reason why you have to leave...You can never own something that was never yours... so let's stop gripping on things we expect to last forever... Nothing lasts forever. Forever is a lie. Everything is transitory. So while you have something in your hand, put in mind that it's just borrowed... So that someday when it's gone, it won't take you eternity just to let it go… when your feelings get strong for someone, it's always wise to stop for a while and give your heart... -A TIME TO BREATHE.. A time to use your mind to weigh the situation based on reason not on emotion… because the saddest thing that can happen is when one fall in love while the other wants nothing more than friendship… love can sometimes be magic... but magic can sometimes be an illusion... There are times when I wish that I waslimited to certain emotions... so that I'll never have to experience pain, never feel betrayed or disappointed, and never get my fragile heart broken... But the same thing means that I'll never know how it feels to love and be loved in return... THE THOUGHT OF IT KIND OF SCARES ME… TO HAVE A HEART THAT'S WHOLE NUMB OR A HEART THAT'S BROKEN BUT REAL... Someday, we'll all be looking back to those days we learned to love, get hurt, cry, and fight. Maybe when that time comes, we'll be laughing at our dumb selves… realizing how stupid we were to stand up for things we knew weren't really meant for us. But I guess learning takes time, and mistakes make one's journey fun... Life is what we make it. Love makes the world go round… So let's live, love and take whatever pain it brings... though it's hard to wait around for something that I know will never happen... it's harder to stop when I know it's everything I've always wanted... but you know what? I'm glad... I'm glad it happened...We're good FRIENDS... and I'm thankful for that… take care always my dear friend... I'm just here...

Tree, Leaf and Wind

Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit? Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay?

Tree

People call me "Tree". I had dated 5 girls when I was in Pre-U. There is one girl who I love a lot but never dared to go after. She didn't have a pretty face, good figure or an outstanding charm. She was just a very ordinary girl. I liked her. I really liked her. I liked her innocence, her frankness, her intelligence and her fragility. Reason for not going after her was that I felt somebody so ordinary like her was not a good match for me. I was also afraid that after we were together all the feelings would vanish. I was also afraid other's gossip would hurt her. I felt that if she were my girl, she'd be mine ultimately & I didn't have to give up everything just for her. The last reason, made her accompanying me for 3 years. She watched me chase other girls, and I have made her heart cry for 3 years.

She was a good actor, and me a demanding director. When I kissed my second girlfriend , she bumped into us. She was embarrassed but smiled & said, "Go on!" before running off. The next day, her eyes were swollen like a walnut. I did not want to know what caused her to cry. Later that day, I returned from soccer training to get something & watched her cry in the classroom for an hour or so. My fourth girlfriend did not like her. There was once when both of them quarreled. I know that based on her character she is not the type that will start the quarrel. However, I still sided my girlfriend. I shouted at her & ignored her feelings and walked off with my girlfriend. The next day, she was laughing & joking with me like nothing happened. I know she was hurt but she did not know deep down inside I was hurt too. When I broke up with my fifth girlfriend, I asked her out. Later that day, I told her I had something to tell her. I told her about my break up. Coincidentally, she has something to tell me too, about her getting together. I knew who the person was. His pursuit for her had been the talk of the School. I did not show her my heartache, just smiles & best wishes. Once I reached
home, I could not breathe. Tears rolled & I broke down. How many times have I seen her cry for the man who did not acknowledge her presence?

Dur ing graduation, I read a SMS in my hp. It said, "Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay" --Leaf

Leaf

People call me Leaf.

During the 3 years of Pre-U, I was on very close terms with a guy as buddy kind. However, when he had his first girlfriend, I learnt a feeling I never should have learnt - Jealousy. Sourness to the extreme limit. They were only together for 2 months. When they broke up, I hid my happiness. But after a month, he got together with another girl.

I liked him & I know he liked me. But why won't he pursue me? Since he loves me why he didn't he make the first move? Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt. After some time, I began to suspect that this was one-sided love. If he didn't like me, why did he treat me so well? It's beyond what you will normally do for a friend. I know his likes, his habits. But his feelings towards me I can never figure out. You can't expect me a girl, to ask him. Despite that, I still wanted to be by his side. Care for him, accompany him, and love him. Hoping that one day, he will come to love me. Because of this, I waited for him. Sometimes, I wondered
if I should continue waiting. The pain, the dilemma accompanied me for 3 years.

At the end of my 3rd year, a junior pursues me. Everyday he pursues me. He's like the cool & gentle wind, trying to blow off a leaf from a tree. In the end,I realized that I wanted to give this wind a small footing in my heart. I know the wind will bring the leaf to a better land. Finally, leaf left the tree, but the tree only smiled & didn't ask me to stay.

Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit. Or cause Tree didn't ask her to stay.

Wind

Because I like a girl called leaf. Because she's so dependent on tree, so I have to be a gust wind. A wind that will blow her away. When I first met her, it was 1 month after I was transferred to this new school. I saw a petite person look ing at my seniors & me playing soccer. During ECA time, she will always be sitting there. Be it alone or with her friends, looking at him. When he talks with girls, there's jealousy in her eyes. When he looked at her, there's a smile in her eyes. Looking at her became my habit. Just like, she likes to look at him. One day, she didn't appear. I felt something missing. I can't explain the feeling except it's a kind of uneasiness. The senior was also not there as well. I went to their classroom, hid outside and saw my senior scolding her. Tears were in her eyes while he left. The next day, I saw her at her usual place, looking at him. I walked over and smiled to her. Took out a note & gave to her. She was surprised. She looked at me, smiled & accepts the note. The next day, she appeared & passes me a note and left.

It read, "Leaf's heart is too heavy and wind couldn't blow her away." "It's not that leaf heart is too heavy. It because leaf never want to leave tree." I replied her note with this statement and slowly she started to talk to me & accept my presents & phone calls. I know that the person she loves is not me. But I have this perseverance that one day I will make her like me. Within 4 months, I have declared my love for her no less than 20 times. Every time, she will divert away from the topic. But I never give up. If I decide I want her to be mine, I will definitely use all means to win her over. I can't remember how many times I have declared my love to her. Although I know, she will try to divert but I still bear a small ray of hope.

Hoping that she will agree to be my girlfriend. I didn't hear any reply from her over the phone. I asked, "What are you doing? How come you didn't want toreply?" She said, "I'm nodding my head". "Ah? " I could n't believe my ears. "I'm nodding my head" She replied loudly. I hang up the phone, quickly changed and took a taxi and rush to her place & press her doorbell. During the moment when she opens the door, I hugged her
tightly.

Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay...

Moral

In love, we win very rarely, but when love is true, even if you lose, you still win just for having the tingle of loving someone more than you love yourself.

There comes a time when we stop loving someone, not because that person has stopped loving us but because we have found out that, they'd be happier if we let go....

Why do we close our eyes when we sleep? When we cry? When we imagine? When we kiss?

This is because THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THINGS IN THE WORLD ARE UNSEEN.

There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind, but keep in mind that letting go isn 't the end of the world. It's the beginning of a new life. Happiness lies for those who cry those who hurt, those who have searched and those who have tried. For only they can appreciate theimportance of the people who have touched our lives.

A great love? It's when you shed tears and still you care for them, it's when they ignore you and still you long for them. It's when they begin to love another and yet you smile and say, "I'm happy for you." If love fails, set yourself free, let your heart spread its wings and fly again. Remember you may find love and lose it, but when love dies, you never have to die with it.

The strongest people are not those who always win but those who stand back up when they fall. Somehow, along the course of life, you learn about yourself and realize that there should never be regrets, only a lifelong appreciation of the choices you've made.

Beautiful Girl

I'm way too cool for ya boy
That's why it'll never work
I'll have you suicidal, suicidal
When I say it's over
Damn all these beautiful girls
We're only gonna do your dirt
We'll have you suicidal, suicidal
When I say it's over

Yeah yeah

I remember when
I was hanging with my friends
That's when I caught your eye
You thought that I was fly
Right then you wished that I would be ya baby (be ya baby)
You try'd to spit some game
Asking me girl what's ya name
Saw that ice upon ya chain
So I asked you the same
Something tells me that we'd have fun together (fun together)

I ain't easy to find
I'm a one of a kind
Oh when I dutty wine
I know you're only mine
Tonight is yours
But tomorrow's for another guy (another guy)

I'm way too cool for ya boy
That's why it'll never work
I'll have you suicidal, suicidal
When I say it's over
Damn all these beautiful girls
We're only gonna do your dirt
We'll have you suicidal, suicidal
When I say it's over

You've been calling me
Leaving messages all week
'Cause your curiosity
Got ya knees weak
[Beautiful Girls lyrics on http://www.metrolyrics.com]

I'm not looking for a man
So I don't want no confusion (no confusion)
I took ya to the floor
Got ya begging me for more
But that was my cue to go
So I hit the door
I left you hot
With your mind is still running wild (running wild)

I ain't easy to find
I'm a one of a kind
Oh when I dutty wine
I know you're only mine
If you stick around
Be careful not to fall in love (fall in love)

I'm way too cool for ya boy
That's why it'll never work
I'll have you suicidal, suicidal
When I say it's over
Damn all these beautiful girls
We're only gonna do your dirt
We'll have you suicidal, suicidal
When I say it's over

Now a couple months have passed
Never thought that this would last
Oh everybody asked
How ya got a girl like that
But you should've known
That nothing lasts forever (lasts forever)
I mashed up ya mind
When I tell you lies
But boy don't be surprised
That I'm seeing other guys
I'm too young to settle
And you should've known better (known better)

Damn all these beautiful girls (you should have known)
We're only gonna do your dirt (cause I'll have)
We'll have you suicidal, suicidal
When I say it's over

Wanting to Be Together With You

Ever since I first saw you

I've been shining in my heart

My love causes so much sorrow

Why I looked away without a word



Your insignificant gestures

And your ordinary words

Every time I think of them

I feel like I'm going to cry



Love brings a lonely lonely heart

I'm just all alone now

Lonely lonely heart

All the joy and pain I feel, I'm always

Dreaming it by myself

Love brings a lonely lonely heart

But I know that someday it will come

While I'm being held in your strong arms

Wanting to be together with you...



Right here beside you, I'm standing there

I'm always waiting for you

But you don't return my advances

I've been left behind so many times

When I fall in love with someone

Why does it cause me so much pain

All alone, by myself

It's like I've fallen ill



For a moment, Baby baby love

Please, I beg of you

Baby baby love

When I feel I'm going to lose to this loneliness

I have to look into my hand mirror

For a moment, Baby baby love

Seems like every day I'm crying through the night

I long for the past, smiling to myself

Wanting to be together with you...



Nobody knows about these

Secret tears

The one to wipe them away is

Only

Not just myself

Wanting to be together with you...

One More Chance

You say it's over
I say we've just begun
'Coz it ain't forever
Until our lives are done
I know I did some things
That I never should
I'd undo them if I could
I'd turn my life around for you
Anything you'd ask me to.....
Just tell me...

What must I do to make you want to stay
And take the hurt away
And leave it all to yesterday?
What can I say to make you change your mind?
To have the chance to turn the hands of time
Back to the days when you were mine?
Just give one more chance for one last time.

I won't deny it
I know that I've done wrong
But you have to admit it
This love is just too strong
To just fade away into the night
Without putting up a fight
We can make it all alright
If we just give it on more try....
So....

What must I do to make you want to stay
And take the hurt away
And leave it all to yesterday?
What can i say to make you change your mind?
To have the chance to turn the hands of time
Back to the days when you were mine?
Just give one more chance for one last time...


And what can i say to make you change your mind
To have the chance to turn the hands of time
Back to the days when you were mine?
Just give one more chance for one last time.
Just one more kiss to last a lifetime
One more chance for ono last time.

A message from somebody else...

Sorry for the late reply. In the last instance, marami na rin pala akong hindi naabot sa mga taong nakasama ko sa buhay. Arnel, we share the same sentiment. Maaaring magkaiba ang context ng sentiment natin pero yung matters of detachment and quite dark past pareho lang tayo. This is just like telling the world that, hey, I'm here not because someone will write a poem for you or complete your term paper or help you with your assignment.

Nung mamatay si Ivan, pakiramdam ko napakarami nang nagbago. Nung umalis si Genelle sa school, hindi ko alam na yung prestige pala na tatanggapin ko ay akin lang pala talaga. Buti ka nga at nawala bago pa man makarating tayong lahat sa high school.

Still, in the last instance, nasa itaas ako. Nag-iisa. Kung hindi ako naging valedictorian baka sakaling masaya ang buhay ko.

Anyway, kalabisan na rin siguro kung sa huli ay magbubuhos pa tayo ng sisi sa nakaraan. Tama naman si Friedrich Nietzsche. Ang nakaraan ay ginagamit upang itama ang kasalukuyan. May punto ka naman kung sabihin mong pakikipagplastikan ang nangyaring encounter with Regina. In the last instance, mahirap na rin namang sabihin ngayon kung sino ang nagsasabi ng totoo. Hindi ito pagsasabi na lahat ng tao ay plastik pero pagsasabi ito ng isang realidad na lahat tayo may ginagampanang karakter.

Mabuti nga at naabot pa kita sa pamamagitan ng friendster. Salamat na din sa Dios dahil nakausap kita.

Bakit ako kumuha ng Sociology kahit na ang lahat ay busy sa pagkuha ng Nursing? Nangahulugan ito ng panibagong gap ko sa mga natira nating mga kaklase. Kumuha ako ng Sociology para maintindihan ko ang iba't-ibang uri ng tao.

Ano ang gusto ko? Umalis dito sa Pulilan at pumunta sa isang malayong lugar. Bakit? Nung una at maging hanggang ngayon ay isinisisi ko pa rin sa high school ang maraming bagay na parang nawala sa buhay ko.

Gusto ko lang sabihin na kung gusto mong umusad ay nagawa mo na. Look at you now. May napatunayan ka na rin naman. Maaaring may mga remnants pa yung kahapon pero sila'y maaaring maging mga alaala na lamang kung gugustuhin mo.

Kailangan nang umusad sa mga pagkakataong ito. Bahala na sila kung ano pa yung gusto nilang mangyari pero yung buhay na nasa atin dapat maging pulido na.

Sa isang banda, hindi rin naman natin mababago ang mga gusto nating baguhin kung wala tayong lilingunin bilang reperensiya. Tama lang ang pag-iyak sa isang pagkakataon pero pagkatapos dapat ng pag-iyak ay pagbabago na.

BECAUSE THE ONLY THING MORE DIFFICULT THAN LIVING WITHOUT A FUTURE IS LIVING WITHOUT A PAST. -From A Father's Affair

One way, we have to internalize the difficult times in our lives. Pwedeng mawala na talaga tayo sa sirkulasyon. In the end, we still need to reach out to the people who are willing to accept us as we are. Ganyan lang naman talaga sa buhay. Kung sino yung tanggap ka, iyon ang taong nais kang makilala hindi dahil may homework siya o kaya may project kundi dahil gusto niyang matuto sa iyo.

KUDOS!

Baby Dont You Break My Heart Slow

I like the way you wanted me
Every night for so long baby
I like the way you needed me
Every time things got rocky

I was believing in you
Am I mistaken do you say,
Do you say what you mean
I want our love to last forever

But I'd rather you be mean than love and lie
I'd rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye
I'd rather take a blow at least then I would know
But baby don't you break my heart slow

I like the way you'd hold me
Every night for so long baby
And I like the way you'd say my name
In the middle of the night
While you were sleeping

I was believing in you
Was I mistaken
Do you mean, mean what you say
When you say our love could last forever

Well I'd rather you be mean than love and lie
I'd rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye
I'd rather take a blow at least then I would know
But baby don't you break my heart slow

(Bridge)
You would run around and lead me on forever
While I wait at home thinking that we're together
I wanted our love to last forever
Well I'd rather you be mean than love and lie
I'd rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye
I'd rather take a blow at least then I would know
But baby don't you break my heart slow

I'm Sorry

How many times have you walked out the door
How many times have you told me before
How many times have you made me cry once more
And all you have to say was I'm sorry

How many times have you left with no trace
How many times have you lied to my face
How many times have you done me disgrace
And all you have to was I'm sorry

And now you're coming back to me
And all you have to say is I'm sorry
The same old story can't you see
And all you have to say is I'm sorry
I guess the greatest irony
It's time to give you my apology
We're done and now it's history
And all I have to say is I'm sorry

How many times have I planned it a bit
How many times have I gathered my wit
How many times have I wanted to quit
And all I have to say was I'm sorry

And now you're coming back to me
And all you have to say is I'm sorry
The same old story can't you see
And all you have to say is I'm sorry
I guess the greatest irony
It's time to give you my apology
We're done and now it's history
And all I have to say is I'm sorry

I wanna let you know
I wanna let you go
One too many times
I've gotten tired of your lines
I'd rather have you out of my life

And now you're coming back to me
And all you have to say is I'm sorry
The same old story can't you see
And all you have to say is I'm sorry
I guess the greatest irony
It's time to give you my apology
We're done and now it's history
And all I have to say is I'm sorry

I'm sorry......

How Can I Not Love You?

Cannot touch, Cannot hold, Cannot be together
Cannot love, Cannot kiss, Cannot love each other

Must be strong and we must let go
Cannot say what our hearts must know

Chorus:How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walks away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone

Cannot trip, Cannot share sweet and tender moments
Cannot feel how we feel,
Must pretend it's over

Must be brave and we must go on,
Must not sayWhat we're no all along

Chorus:How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walks away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone
How can I not love you

Bridge:Must be brave and we must be strong
Cannot say what we know all along

Chorus:How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walks away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone

How can I not love you
When you are gone

Letting Go....

The Art of Letting Go

The art of letting go is a difficult one. The same phrase is used in many contexts, with different words: In games, you talk about resigning the whole game when you realize there is no way you can win any more. In combat, you talk about withdrawal, or cutting losses, or surrendering, before your forces are crushed. At work, you quit. In love, you break up. The same phrase - different words.

But it all comes down to one thing: acceptance. Accepting that things are not going to change, or that things are going to change, and you no longer have any effect on them. Accepting the truth can sometimes be the hardest thing there is, and thus the art of letting go is one of the most difficult ones.

Hope is good, but not enough

Sometimes we grow attached to things, and we have trouble letting go. An elderly relative is kept in a hospital for years, supported only by machinery, suffering, only because we cannot accept the fact that he is effectively dead already. Or we keep ourselves in relationships where love has left years ago, because we are unable to face the truth. Or perhaps you yearn for a particular person, someone who does not and will never love you, but hope keeps you still bound and you are unable to form new relationships, simply because you keep thinking "what if". Do not get me wrong - we still must have hope. Hope is what keeps us alive in the direst of moments and the darkest of alleys. But once hope - real hope - is gone, you must be able to resign and get on with new things.

Hope is a funny thing. We read Reader's Digest to hear of stories of miracle survivals, or a ill person's account of a fight against a terrible disease. Yet these are the rarities, the gems. The rest of us are just coal and rocks. But that's okay, if we accept that. This does not mean that we can't still have hope and wish for miracles. However, we only have a limited life span, and thus we do not have the time to wait and hope forever. One has to accept his mortality, and realize that there is only so much time, and then make the decision whether to hope for a miracle, or to give up and move elsewhere.

Giving up as a tool

There's also another kind of resignation: the one that gets you what you really want. It is important to realize that what you think you want, and what you really want can be two completely different things - and sometimes the mind has trouble letting go of the idealized image it has created. Looking for one's soulmate can be such a thing: if you cannot let go of the image of the ideal boy- or girlfriend, you can never accept the fact that nobody is perfect. If you let go of the image of this ideal non-existence, then you actually may find what you really are after.

In the same way, if you think too lowly of yourself, you can get stuck with someone you really don't want - because you cannot let go of the fear of having to live alone by the rest of your life. Perhaps you will, perhaps you won't. Living alone is the preferable choice to a bad relationship

If you fear death, you cannot be a good soldier, believed the old samurai. Thus they learned to accept death, and became fearsome warriors - as suicide bombers show so painfully clearly these days, the most fearsome enemy is the one that does not fear death.

Not too late, not too early

It is also important to know when to resign. Resign too early, and you may have missed your chance. Resign too late, and it may be that it is no longer effective. In most boardgames, it is considered impolite to resign after all the meaningful moves have been made, but the score has not yet been counted. One should be able to face the loss - resigning during score counting only brings more shame than actually losing the game.

Giving up does not mean that you are losing. Imagine a situation, where you are suddenly confronted by a person demanding your wallet. He has no apparent weaponry, and no apparent friends. You can either give up now, and hand over your wallet, and lose a bit of money, or you can risk it. There's a certain point after which you will probably have to fight - and if it turns out that the person has a concealed knife, or five friends lurking in the shadows, resigning is not going to do much for you at that point. Sometimes you cannot quit, regardless of how much you really want to, so the winner's choice is to resign while he still has a chance.

But you cannot resign too early either - otherwise you will be running through your life like a scared bunny rabbit, always giving in, always apologizing. It is difficult to find the balance, and most people can get it right, most of the time. Sometimes not. But it is important to realize that giving up is almost always a valid option, and that should be considered one possible solution whenever you are faced with a choice. As much as it may hurt.

For the mathematically inclined among you: do not get stuck in a local minimum. ;-)

Finding limits

There are some souls among us, who wish to go and push themselves to the extreme limits and beyond. Some do it in the fields of physical prowess, some delve deep into knowledge, or perhaps science. These are the people who advance humanity: the great explorers, scientists, nurses, etc. The dreamers, the thinkers, and the makers. They all learn at some point the art of letting go - because being great in one thing always means sacrificing other things.

Also, one should not go out and find his own limits to see how far he can go - but to see when he can let go. You don't really do bench presses to know how much you can lift up, but to know what is the first weight that you cannot move. Because having that limit means that you have a target, and you know when to stop trying because you risk damage to yourself.

Accept the limits.

Learn to forgive.

Teach yourself the ability to let go.

Art of Letting go Part 2

Sooner or later, everyone you know will disappointyou in some way. They'll?say something or fail tosay something that will hurt you. And they'll dosomething or fail to do something that will angeryou. It's inevitable.Unfortunately, you make things worse when you stewover someone's words and deeds. When you dwell on arude remark or an insensitive action made by anotherperson, you're headed for deeper problems.In fact, the more you dwell on these things, the more bitter you'll get.You'll find your joy, peace and happiness slippingaway. And you'll find your productivity slowing downas you spend more and more time thinking about theslight or telling others about it. Eventually, ifyou don't stop doing it, you'll even get sick.So what should you do the next time someone betraysyou? TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR FEELINGS. Eventhough the other person may be at fault, even though the other personwronged you, you are stillresponsible for your own feelings.In other words, other people do not "cause" yourfeelings. You choose them.For example, two different people could be told thattheir suggestions made at the staff meeting were"stupid and idiotic." One person may "choose" tofeel so hurt that he never speaks up at any othermeeting again. The other person may "choose" to feelsorry for the critic, sorry that the critic couldn'tsee the wisdom and necessity of her suggestions.As long as you blame other people for your feelings,as long as you believe other people caused yourfeelings, you're stuck. You're a helpless victim.But if you recognize the fact that you choose yourfeelings and you are responsible for your feelings,there's hope.?You can take some time to think aboutyour feelings. And you can decide what is the bestthing to say or do.Then, you've got to learn to WALK AWAY FROMDISAPPOINTMENT.?It's difficult to do, but it'spossible. The famous 19th century Scottishhistorian, Thomas Carlyle, proved that.After working on his multi-volume set of books on"The French Revolution" for six years, Carlylecompleted the manuscript and took volume one to hisfriend John Stuart Mill. He asked Mill to read it.Five days later, Mill's maid accidentally threw themanuscript into the fire. In agony, Mill went toCarlyle's house to tell him that his work had beendestroyed.Carlyle did not flinch. With a smile, he said, "That's all right, Mill.These things happen. It is a part of life. I willstart over. I can remember most of it, I am sure.Don't worry. It's all here in my mind. Go,my friend!Do not feel bad."As Mill left, Carlyle watched him from the window.Carlyle turned to his wife and said, "I did not wanthim to see how crushed I am by this misfortune." Andwith a heavy sigh, he added, "Well the manuscript isgone, so I had better start writing again."Carlyle finally completed the work, which ranks asone of the great classics of all time. He hadlearned to walk away from his disappointment.After all, what could Carlyle have done about hisburnt manuscript?Nothing. Nothing would have resurrected themanuscript. All Carlyle could do was to get bitteror get started. And what can you do about anythingonce it is over? Not much. You can try to correct itif it is possible, or you can walk away from it ifit isn't. Those are your only two choices.Sometimes you've just got to shake it off and stepup. It's like the farmer who had an old mule whofell into a deep dry well. As he assessed thesituation, he knew it would be difficult, if notimpossible, to lift the heavy mule out of the deepwell.So the farmer decided to bury the mule in the well.After all, the mule was old and the well was dry, sohe could solve two problems at once. He could putthe old mule out of his misery and have his wellfilled.The farmer asked his neighbors to help him with theshoveling. To work they went. As they threwshovel-full of dirt after shovel-full of dirt on themule's back, the mule became frightened.Then all of a sudden an idea came to the mule. Eachtime they would throw a shovel-full of dirt on hisback, he would shake it off and step up.Shovel-full after shovel-full, the mule would shakeit off and step up. In not too long a time, theexhausted and dirty mule stepped over the top of thewell and through the crowd.That's the same approach we all need to take. Weneed to shake it off and step up.Finally, you need to FORGIVE. It's difficult,especially when the other person doesn't deserveyour forgiveness or doesn't even seek it. It'sdifficult when the other person is clearly in thewrong.Part of the difficulty comes from a commonmisunderstanding of forgiveness.Forgiveness doesn't mean that the other person'sbehavior is okay. And forgiveness doesn't mean thatthe other person is off the hook. He's stillresponsible for his misbehavior.Forgiveness is about letting yourself off theemotional hook. It's about releasing your negativeemotions, attitudes, and behaviors. It's aboutletting go of the past so you can go forward to thefuture.Everyone in your life, everyone on and off the jobis going to disappoint you. If you know how torespond to those situations, you'll be way ahead ofmost people. You'll be able to live above and beyondyour circumstances.Action:Identify two people that have disappointed, hurt, orangered you. If?possible, select two people towardswhom you still have some bitterness.Then ask yourself, "How does my bitterness serve me?Am I happier holding on to it?Do I sleep better?Is my life richer, fuller, and better because of my bitterness?"If you find that your bitterness is hurting you, make a decision.Actually decide to let it go.Walk away from the disappointment -- which means youno longer dwell on it or talk about it. Period!Or as Islam teaches us, the true believer is the one whocan forgive while she is angry.

Giving: The Very Foundation of Love

At this time, it is natural for you to be thinking about all that you have given to that person from whom you are now separating. Not only is this natural; it is necessary, in order for you to establish a better understanding of your potential for future growth. To dwell upon the idea that you gave too much or too little, however, is counterproductive and will keep you tied to the past. You must be able to see the act of giving as being intimately connected to that which you receive in your life experiences.

In order to have a clearer knowledge of the relationship between giving and receiving, you will have to consider what your motivation was in giving something in the first place. Where you feel pain or resentment for what you have given, the guiding force behind the giving was itself negative. It was based upon a calculation of what you expected to receive in return. The benefits of love cannot be calculated. Where you feel genuine joy for having given, it is because your giving was really a sharing of yourself. Giving as sharing of oneself is the very foundation of love.
Your mind should be focused on the spiritual sharing which was the core of your relationship. This is not to say that the material concerns involved in this separation are not important. They are; but they are secondary to your development as a person capable of sharing a life with someone else. And you should treat them as such. If there must be a division of shared material possessions, then go about making this division with a sense of fairness and love.

When you give freely, you are always the recipient. Keep this idea foremost in your mind. As you examine your past, try to recognize the occasions when your open sharing of yourself was the source of your joy and of your sense of freedom. Concentrate upon the experiences in which the love you received was the pure counterpart of the love you gave.

This period of separation affords you the opportunity to learn more about yourself and your potential for giving. Carry the fruits of the experiences you shared in the relationship into your present life. Practice freely the act of giving and of seeing this giving as a sharing of yourself. Life itself is the greatest giver of all. By realizing this, you will be at peace with yourself and capable of giving back to life your greatest gift-yourself.

“The Journey from Separation in Love to Fulfillment in Life”

The falling out of lovers is the renewing of love. - Robert Burton

Surround yourself with love. Though this may seem to you the most impossible emotion to experience in the first stages following a separation, it is to become your course of action when you realize that love is the key to your control of self and to the door that is opening toward your new reality. Love is what brought you into your relationship and love is the power that will lead you to the meaningful resolution of your situation.

This decision to love must first take effect with reference to yourself and to the person from whom you are separating. You must love yourself for those qualities which brought you into the realm of that other person: your willingness to give of yourself and to take the risk of being hurt. And to love the other person in spite of the pain you are feeling is to allow that person the same freedom you will both need in order to move on. Love is a force that renews us and prepares us for tomorrow. Hatred is a shackle that keeps us tied to the past. Drop the shackles!

The one from whom you have separated will not soon be forgotten, though great distances may separate the two of you. Give the memory of that person the chance to help you by insisting on remembering the beautiful experiences that united you. The painful ones which separated you will need no coaxing from the memory. Turn your anger into love. Take the qualities you found in the other person and develop them in yourself, use them as a way of better experiencing your love for all the others who are important in your life. After all, those were qualities which brought you into love and they are no less worthy today.

Love has no guilt and no boundaries. In fact, it has no definition. Yes, it is the force which takes us out of ourselves so that we may share ourselves with others. Yet it is also the force that leads us into ourselves, so that we may understand and prepare ourselves for the act of giving. You cannot resolve the bitterness and pain of the separation you are experiencing by continuing to dwell on these feelings. Come alive with the force which is the essence of life itself. You are leaving one relationship, one stop in your journey. There is still a path before you. Walk in love.

The Art of Letting Go

What do those two words mean to you? Letting go. For me there are really two questions that spring to mind here. What are the kinds of things we want to let go of? and Why should I do this? i.e. What is the benefit for me?
Letting go is simply making a decision – no longer to allow something from the past to influence your life now or to reduce your inner sense of peace and well-being. So all we need to do is to let go of the beliefs and attitudes that prevent us from experiencing the joy of the moment. The problem comes in identifying exactly what that means; we have so many beliefs that prevent us from being in the here and now, from being content and peaceful within.

Taking Responsibility for Our Own Lives
One of the worst attitudes is 'Things happen to me', not from me but to me; a degree of victim mentality. At any level we really need to accept the full responsibility for whatever happens to us.
Or we can take the responsibility to accept that what happened to us five minutes ago is no longer of any importance because that was five minutes ago and this is now. If we are holding onto the incident, we continue to hurt ourselves. What happens subsequently is important but not what happened in itself. Something happens, and it sets off a sequence of events. So let go of the bit that happened back there and deal with the bit in the sequence that is actually occurring now.
The important thing is not holding on to anything any longer than it actually lasts. In reality, all we need to do is experience the learning and move on immediately.

Learning from Experience
Sometimes we convince ourselves that we need to 'hold on' in order to extract the learning from it. If you are repeating big patterns, you can retain the memory in terms of what not to do next time, but not the emotional content it aroused in you. Thus you can get the maximum amount of learning but ultimately that's still part of the letting go process. If it's a traumatic experience that's teaching you a lot, keep it as something to learn from, while letting go of your attachment to it, let go of it emotionally. That's the basis of letting go of our beliefs and attitudes that anything happens to us, that we are a victim of anybody.

Making Choices
Life is a series of choices of how to behave. Often we make these choices automatically, without really being aware of what we are choosing or why. But no matter what anyone does in any aspect of their life, it is still a choice they have made. And, of course, in making choices we also make mistakes. It is from those mistakes that we learn about ourselves and others. And we learn how to make different choices next time if we remain open to the process of making mistakes. But one thing stops us learning from choices and that is fear. Fear of judgement and criticism, which is usually felt as shame or guilt.
So the second thing we have to let go of is all of our judgements and values and ideas of what should be or what shouldn't be. We should have no values, no judgements, no morals, no criticisms, no ideas of what is or should or shouldn't be. None at all. Because if we have an idea of what is or what should or shouldn't be we are making a judgement on something that is as it is, as God or as the Universe intended. It is as it is, and it is perfect as it is for the people who are involved in that scenario. That applies to us in our lives, but because it is a principle it applies equally to the people in a war crisis, for instance. And that's where the understanding becomes really difficult to accept. You may say, "Hold on, this is not right" but it is, it's right for them, and I'll go back to a previous point. The angrier everybody gets about a situation, the worse it gets. This is not at all pleasant or emotionally intelligent but judging won't improve it either; it will make it worse. If everybody stops being angry about a situation it disappears; the war will not happen.

Keeping Neutral, Learning Acceptance
If we see something and make a judgement or a criticism about it we are adding our angry 'energy' to that situation. We are actually increasing it. If we collectively say, "What is happening in this war or that country now is terrible", we are adding to the energy of that event; we are making it worse for the people in it. What we need to do is to stay completely neutral and know the highest truth i.e. what is happening there is as it should be for those people, however traumatic.
We've all been through equivalent experiences one way or another, so we've got to let go of the idea that it's right or wrong; that's just the way it is for those people. The most important point to make here is that making choices is not making a judgement. It is just saying, 'choose not to behave in this way'. Eventually, if we allow everybody to learn without fear, then the mistakes stop being so terrible and the results stop being too damaging and dramatic on individuals and society. But it has to happen that way round – that we suspend the judgement before others stop doing whatever we originally judged. We cannot expect them to stop before we stop judging.
What we can do is make our own structure for the choices we would make but without saying we are right, and that is wrong. It is saying this is what we would do as far as we know at this moment. Period. Not that it's right or wrong.
So what if we saw an old lady being mugged in the street? Should we just walk on?
No. If possible, and not to the detriment of your own safety, you can choose to intervene with the action but what you mustn't do is add your judgement or criticism to it. You must not judge either party involved. That is the tricky bit. Saying 'that's not my choice of behaviour but I accept their right to do that – and I will intervene because that is my choice'. We have to accept the consequence of that choice, which might be that you get mugged.

People and Behaviour are not the Same
Something that gives a depth of understanding is to recognize that the action is not the person. You can say that action is not good, but the person is perfect, they are perfect in as far as they have got in their own learning about life. We cannot possibly see what the master plan for the Universe is, so if we start judging and criticizing we are saying we know better than God, the universe, energy or whatever, and we don't. We have to let go of the assumption that we know.
The trouble with a little bit of enlightenment, a little bit of spiritual awareness, is that you suddenly get into a kind of spiritual judgementalism: 'I know, and you lot all don't'. It's a very difficult ego state to get out of. Eventually you do get kicked out of it because you realize that you're not that much different to them. You just realize a little bit more of what you're learning next, you're a bit more aware of it. It's very important not to assume that we have some greater understanding.
All spiritual teachings include a section about not judging because to do so would be hypocritical. None of us has always got it right, or, should I say, made the best choices. But if we learn from it and don't repeat it that is the most anyone can ask.
So we do have to separate the behaviour from the person and take that to the highest levels, such as a war crisis, which appears so horrendous. We can choose to keep our thoughts out of it and know that that situation will heal itself when everybody has learnt what they can.

Becoming More Emotionally Intelligent Helps the World Too
If we replace judgemental values with a sense of our self-worth, and how we wish to express that essence of us to the rest of the world, we choose to live in a way that helps to heal ourselves and other people. We accept it in a way that is unconditionally accepting of ourselves and of other people, so we drop our barriers in order to help heal the world. We help to heal everything in the rest of the world by dropping our sense of what is right or wrong. There is a fine line between making a decision about how to behave and making a criticism or judgement of behaviour in others. Once you can see where it is, you can stay on the one side of it. Just consider for a moment how differently you respond if you feel critically judged compared with being accepted as you are. That applies to the whole universe too.

Fixed Ideas of What Will Be
The next thing is expectations of outcome: if I do this, then that will happen. Our disappointment is always based on what we think should have happened or what we hoped would happen or what we thought the other person should do. It is never based on what has actually happened, it is based on our disappointment that what we wanted didn't occur. So we want to control the universe, thinking we know better than God etc. again. If we decide what we think should happen is right we are getting back into judgements. But God is neutral. It doesn't say, "You are bad because you made that mistake today and you are good because you did that". God acknowledges: "You are learning, you are going in the right direction and doing the best that you can do at any time" and that's what we need to start working from.
My understanding is that God is the supreme intelligence but is also an evolving consciousness, and as our consciousness evolves we contribute to the evolution of God-consciousness. We are all God, or spirit, having a human experience and when we raise our consciousness individually we are also, in a collective way, raising God-consciousness, because we are all God anyway. That is the point of creativity; that is the point of intelligence. Evolution occurs as a result of intelligence, not the other way round. So if God-consciousness is the ultimate intelligence that lets go without judgement, then we have got to emulate that by letting go without any judgement or questioning about anyone else.
God lets us go where we want, to expand our consciousness, including making some stupid mistakes and making some wonderful discoveries in human terms. If we are allowed to do that, so then is everyone else.

Interconnectedness and the Oneness
Why is it important for us to raise our consciousness and let go of our beliefs in order to help everyone else comes back to the connectedness of everything in the universe?
Some people want to move and grow faster and others grow more slowly. All travel. Some are trying to slow the others down and some are trying to speed the others up, but whatever each one does affects the others next to it. We are all units of vibrating energy, according to quantum physics. So our emotional energy will affect the people around us. Miserable people are a drain on us; we call them a drag, and they are dragging our energy down. We want to vibrate more lightly, more harmoniously, and they are slowing us down. By lifting our vibrations through our self-development, and releasing our sense of judgements, criticism and control, we are actually allowing everybody else around us to speed up as well. So ultimately we have one responsibility and that is to raise our consciousness sufficiently to help raise the other ones around us. So we have to choose to let go of the illusions of what was or what will be, of right or wrong, and to increase our vibrations. And then we automatically raise the vibrations of those around us.
The final belief that we need to let go of is that our individual humanhood really matters. Everything will be as it is. It doesn't matter how it is because however it is and wherever it is going it will get there because it can't not. Probably where it's going doesn't matter because there isn't a decision about where it's going to go. There is no limit to where it's going to go. If you decide it's going to go from 'here' to 'there' you are immediately placing a limit on where it can go to, but it doesn't matter where it's going. So we have to let go of the idea that humanhood really matters. We are in it and it is part of our experience and we do have to live with our feet in both human and spiritual worlds but we have got to let go of the idea that this matters.

Changing One's Perceptions
One of the best ways to deal with this is to think, 'will I feel this stressed about this situation tomorrow, or next week, or next year or in five years' time?', and the answer is usually no, not if you let it go. If you go straight to that feeling of detachment and let go of 'what I am feeling now', it becomes much more comfortable. Try using these statements in your life:
* I can't control what is happening in the world;
* I can say loud and clear that I want this or that to happen;
* I can accept that if it doesn't, there is some good reason for it though I can't see what that might be;
* I'm not God and I don't know what that good reason is now, but if I remain open then I will find it;
* I have to let go of what I think it should be and I will find it is far better.
So we've got to get away from what we think things ought to be and get to our free will. Our free will is our choice and we are affected by the wisdom of our choices. We are not right or wrong in the choices we make. It may not even be the same choice for the next day. You might make a different choice, but for that moment in time it is right and that is the same for everybody. We have to let go of a sense of being right or wrong and allow things to be as they are, to accept the process of change in ourselves and others and give each other the freedom to change and learn without judgement. We have to let go of our thoughts and learn to listen and wait. We have to let go of our expectations and let things and people be as they are and we have to let go of the need to do and simply allow ourselves to grow and change daily.

What are the Real Benefits to Me of This Approach to Life?
So what is the point of it all? This is easier.
* If we learn to let go we acquire a greater sense of being in the present. A greater sense that our needs actually are being met, because at any given moment they are, so don't worry about what's going to happen tomorrow because today everything is fine.
* If we let go of expectations and judgements, we find a sense of calm and inner peace, because we are not in conflict with what we think should be. We also have a far greater sense of strength, and respond to the moment instead of the past. Our vulnerability is never in the moment; it's in what we fear will be. Have you ever noticed that you are usually frightened after or in anticipation of what will happen but very rarely in the moment? So we get a sense of our strength because we are right in the here and now. We lose our vulnerability which is based on what if, not on the here and now.
* We have greater acceptance of others and therefore we make a greater contribution to raising their awareness, a greater sense of truly going with the flow.
* We gain a sense of fun and freedom in all we do. How often do we go out and dig a hole in the garden and then fill it in again just for fun? Adults don't often do that, kids do and really enjoy it but adults don't really do that kind of stuff, they want to be sensible. But that is what being is, digging holes and filling them in again, just for the fun of it.
So start thinking about what you're doing and have fun with it. It's a weird sense of just letting go and not having a reason for doing something. Do it because you really just want to. Have you seen how much energy people put into building a sandcastle, just to watch the sea wash it away? And you may think what a waste of time, but it's not, it's a wonderful thing, you're in the moment, you're there and you just did it for the hell of it. Live all of your life as if it was building a sandcastle. There can be no better reason for doing something other than you're enjoying it.

Actually it's the best reason for doing something. Enjoying something is our choice.
Becoming fully immersed in what you're doing, called mindfulness in Buddhism, is a very good way of letting go, letting go of all the other stuff around you, so that all your concentration is based on what you're doing. You're not making judgements; you're not having expectations of outcome. The key thing is that the more we let go of these attributes of victimhood and judgement, the more we move into our true nature. Living without judgement means living in a state of being.
Being reveals our true identity and oneness with creation. It allows us to release concepts of who we are and allow the spiritual identity to emerge. Being places us beyond the world's effects and allows us to live at a different level of consciousness. It allows us to have without fear of loss, without needing to control and judge, to live and be truly free.
So begin to let all your life become one big let-go experience and then see what happens next. Allow each day to unfold for you not as you would choose but to reveal to you your true nature. That is the true meaning of intelligence.