Cannot touch, Cannot hold, Cannot be together
Cannot love, Cannot kiss, Cannot love each other
Must be strong and we must let go
Cannot say what our hearts must know
Chorus:How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walks away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone
Cannot trip, Cannot share sweet and tender moments
Cannot feel how we feel,
Must pretend it's over
Must be brave and we must go on,
Must not sayWhat we're no all along
Chorus:How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walks away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone
How can I not love you
Bridge:Must be brave and we must be strong
Cannot say what we know all along
Chorus:How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walks away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone
How can I not love you
When you are gone
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Letting Go....
The Art of Letting Go
The art of letting go is a difficult one. The same phrase is used in many contexts, with different words: In games, you talk about resigning the whole game when you realize there is no way you can win any more. In combat, you talk about withdrawal, or cutting losses, or surrendering, before your forces are crushed. At work, you quit. In love, you break up. The same phrase - different words.
But it all comes down to one thing: acceptance. Accepting that things are not going to change, or that things are going to change, and you no longer have any effect on them. Accepting the truth can sometimes be the hardest thing there is, and thus the art of letting go is one of the most difficult ones.
Hope is good, but not enough
Sometimes we grow attached to things, and we have trouble letting go. An elderly relative is kept in a hospital for years, supported only by machinery, suffering, only because we cannot accept the fact that he is effectively dead already. Or we keep ourselves in relationships where love has left years ago, because we are unable to face the truth. Or perhaps you yearn for a particular person, someone who does not and will never love you, but hope keeps you still bound and you are unable to form new relationships, simply because you keep thinking "what if". Do not get me wrong - we still must have hope. Hope is what keeps us alive in the direst of moments and the darkest of alleys. But once hope - real hope - is gone, you must be able to resign and get on with new things.
Hope is a funny thing. We read Reader's Digest to hear of stories of miracle survivals, or a ill person's account of a fight against a terrible disease. Yet these are the rarities, the gems. The rest of us are just coal and rocks. But that's okay, if we accept that. This does not mean that we can't still have hope and wish for miracles. However, we only have a limited life span, and thus we do not have the time to wait and hope forever. One has to accept his mortality, and realize that there is only so much time, and then make the decision whether to hope for a miracle, or to give up and move elsewhere.
Giving up as a tool
There's also another kind of resignation: the one that gets you what you really want. It is important to realize that what you think you want, and what you really want can be two completely different things - and sometimes the mind has trouble letting go of the idealized image it has created. Looking for one's soulmate can be such a thing: if you cannot let go of the image of the ideal boy- or girlfriend, you can never accept the fact that nobody is perfect. If you let go of the image of this ideal non-existence, then you actually may find what you really are after.
In the same way, if you think too lowly of yourself, you can get stuck with someone you really don't want - because you cannot let go of the fear of having to live alone by the rest of your life. Perhaps you will, perhaps you won't. Living alone is the preferable choice to a bad relationship
If you fear death, you cannot be a good soldier, believed the old samurai. Thus they learned to accept death, and became fearsome warriors - as suicide bombers show so painfully clearly these days, the most fearsome enemy is the one that does not fear death.
Not too late, not too early
It is also important to know when to resign. Resign too early, and you may have missed your chance. Resign too late, and it may be that it is no longer effective. In most boardgames, it is considered impolite to resign after all the meaningful moves have been made, but the score has not yet been counted. One should be able to face the loss - resigning during score counting only brings more shame than actually losing the game.
Giving up does not mean that you are losing. Imagine a situation, where you are suddenly confronted by a person demanding your wallet. He has no apparent weaponry, and no apparent friends. You can either give up now, and hand over your wallet, and lose a bit of money, or you can risk it. There's a certain point after which you will probably have to fight - and if it turns out that the person has a concealed knife, or five friends lurking in the shadows, resigning is not going to do much for you at that point. Sometimes you cannot quit, regardless of how much you really want to, so the winner's choice is to resign while he still has a chance.
But you cannot resign too early either - otherwise you will be running through your life like a scared bunny rabbit, always giving in, always apologizing. It is difficult to find the balance, and most people can get it right, most of the time. Sometimes not. But it is important to realize that giving up is almost always a valid option, and that should be considered one possible solution whenever you are faced with a choice. As much as it may hurt.
For the mathematically inclined among you: do not get stuck in a local minimum. ;-)
Finding limits
There are some souls among us, who wish to go and push themselves to the extreme limits and beyond. Some do it in the fields of physical prowess, some delve deep into knowledge, or perhaps science. These are the people who advance humanity: the great explorers, scientists, nurses, etc. The dreamers, the thinkers, and the makers. They all learn at some point the art of letting go - because being great in one thing always means sacrificing other things.
Also, one should not go out and find his own limits to see how far he can go - but to see when he can let go. You don't really do bench presses to know how much you can lift up, but to know what is the first weight that you cannot move. Because having that limit means that you have a target, and you know when to stop trying because you risk damage to yourself.
Accept the limits.
Learn to forgive.
Teach yourself the ability to let go.
The art of letting go is a difficult one. The same phrase is used in many contexts, with different words: In games, you talk about resigning the whole game when you realize there is no way you can win any more. In combat, you talk about withdrawal, or cutting losses, or surrendering, before your forces are crushed. At work, you quit. In love, you break up. The same phrase - different words.
But it all comes down to one thing: acceptance. Accepting that things are not going to change, or that things are going to change, and you no longer have any effect on them. Accepting the truth can sometimes be the hardest thing there is, and thus the art of letting go is one of the most difficult ones.
Hope is good, but not enough
Sometimes we grow attached to things, and we have trouble letting go. An elderly relative is kept in a hospital for years, supported only by machinery, suffering, only because we cannot accept the fact that he is effectively dead already. Or we keep ourselves in relationships where love has left years ago, because we are unable to face the truth. Or perhaps you yearn for a particular person, someone who does not and will never love you, but hope keeps you still bound and you are unable to form new relationships, simply because you keep thinking "what if". Do not get me wrong - we still must have hope. Hope is what keeps us alive in the direst of moments and the darkest of alleys. But once hope - real hope - is gone, you must be able to resign and get on with new things.
Hope is a funny thing. We read Reader's Digest to hear of stories of miracle survivals, or a ill person's account of a fight against a terrible disease. Yet these are the rarities, the gems. The rest of us are just coal and rocks. But that's okay, if we accept that. This does not mean that we can't still have hope and wish for miracles. However, we only have a limited life span, and thus we do not have the time to wait and hope forever. One has to accept his mortality, and realize that there is only so much time, and then make the decision whether to hope for a miracle, or to give up and move elsewhere.
Giving up as a tool
There's also another kind of resignation: the one that gets you what you really want. It is important to realize that what you think you want, and what you really want can be two completely different things - and sometimes the mind has trouble letting go of the idealized image it has created. Looking for one's soulmate can be such a thing: if you cannot let go of the image of the ideal boy- or girlfriend, you can never accept the fact that nobody is perfect. If you let go of the image of this ideal non-existence, then you actually may find what you really are after.
In the same way, if you think too lowly of yourself, you can get stuck with someone you really don't want - because you cannot let go of the fear of having to live alone by the rest of your life. Perhaps you will, perhaps you won't. Living alone is the preferable choice to a bad relationship
If you fear death, you cannot be a good soldier, believed the old samurai. Thus they learned to accept death, and became fearsome warriors - as suicide bombers show so painfully clearly these days, the most fearsome enemy is the one that does not fear death.
Not too late, not too early
It is also important to know when to resign. Resign too early, and you may have missed your chance. Resign too late, and it may be that it is no longer effective. In most boardgames, it is considered impolite to resign after all the meaningful moves have been made, but the score has not yet been counted. One should be able to face the loss - resigning during score counting only brings more shame than actually losing the game.
Giving up does not mean that you are losing. Imagine a situation, where you are suddenly confronted by a person demanding your wallet. He has no apparent weaponry, and no apparent friends. You can either give up now, and hand over your wallet, and lose a bit of money, or you can risk it. There's a certain point after which you will probably have to fight - and if it turns out that the person has a concealed knife, or five friends lurking in the shadows, resigning is not going to do much for you at that point. Sometimes you cannot quit, regardless of how much you really want to, so the winner's choice is to resign while he still has a chance.
But you cannot resign too early either - otherwise you will be running through your life like a scared bunny rabbit, always giving in, always apologizing. It is difficult to find the balance, and most people can get it right, most of the time. Sometimes not. But it is important to realize that giving up is almost always a valid option, and that should be considered one possible solution whenever you are faced with a choice. As much as it may hurt.
For the mathematically inclined among you: do not get stuck in a local minimum. ;-)
Finding limits
There are some souls among us, who wish to go and push themselves to the extreme limits and beyond. Some do it in the fields of physical prowess, some delve deep into knowledge, or perhaps science. These are the people who advance humanity: the great explorers, scientists, nurses, etc. The dreamers, the thinkers, and the makers. They all learn at some point the art of letting go - because being great in one thing always means sacrificing other things.
Also, one should not go out and find his own limits to see how far he can go - but to see when he can let go. You don't really do bench presses to know how much you can lift up, but to know what is the first weight that you cannot move. Because having that limit means that you have a target, and you know when to stop trying because you risk damage to yourself.
Accept the limits.
Learn to forgive.
Teach yourself the ability to let go.
Art of Letting go Part 2
Sooner or later, everyone you know will disappointyou in some way. They'll?say something or fail tosay something that will hurt you. And they'll dosomething or fail to do something that will angeryou. It's inevitable.Unfortunately, you make things worse when you stewover someone's words and deeds. When you dwell on arude remark or an insensitive action made by anotherperson, you're headed for deeper problems.In fact, the more you dwell on these things, the more bitter you'll get.You'll find your joy, peace and happiness slippingaway. And you'll find your productivity slowing downas you spend more and more time thinking about theslight or telling others about it. Eventually, ifyou don't stop doing it, you'll even get sick.So what should you do the next time someone betraysyou? TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR FEELINGS. Eventhough the other person may be at fault, even though the other personwronged you, you are stillresponsible for your own feelings.In other words, other people do not "cause" yourfeelings. You choose them.For example, two different people could be told thattheir suggestions made at the staff meeting were"stupid and idiotic." One person may "choose" tofeel so hurt that he never speaks up at any othermeeting again. The other person may "choose" to feelsorry for the critic, sorry that the critic couldn'tsee the wisdom and necessity of her suggestions.As long as you blame other people for your feelings,as long as you believe other people caused yourfeelings, you're stuck. You're a helpless victim.But if you recognize the fact that you choose yourfeelings and you are responsible for your feelings,there's hope.?You can take some time to think aboutyour feelings. And you can decide what is the bestthing to say or do.Then, you've got to learn to WALK AWAY FROMDISAPPOINTMENT.?It's difficult to do, but it'spossible. The famous 19th century Scottishhistorian, Thomas Carlyle, proved that.After working on his multi-volume set of books on"The French Revolution" for six years, Carlylecompleted the manuscript and took volume one to hisfriend John Stuart Mill. He asked Mill to read it.Five days later, Mill's maid accidentally threw themanuscript into the fire. In agony, Mill went toCarlyle's house to tell him that his work had beendestroyed.Carlyle did not flinch. With a smile, he said, "That's all right, Mill.These things happen. It is a part of life. I willstart over. I can remember most of it, I am sure.Don't worry. It's all here in my mind. Go,my friend!Do not feel bad."As Mill left, Carlyle watched him from the window.Carlyle turned to his wife and said, "I did not wanthim to see how crushed I am by this misfortune." Andwith a heavy sigh, he added, "Well the manuscript isgone, so I had better start writing again."Carlyle finally completed the work, which ranks asone of the great classics of all time. He hadlearned to walk away from his disappointment.After all, what could Carlyle have done about hisburnt manuscript?Nothing. Nothing would have resurrected themanuscript. All Carlyle could do was to get bitteror get started. And what can you do about anythingonce it is over? Not much. You can try to correct itif it is possible, or you can walk away from it ifit isn't. Those are your only two choices.Sometimes you've just got to shake it off and stepup. It's like the farmer who had an old mule whofell into a deep dry well. As he assessed thesituation, he knew it would be difficult, if notimpossible, to lift the heavy mule out of the deepwell.So the farmer decided to bury the mule in the well.After all, the mule was old and the well was dry, sohe could solve two problems at once. He could putthe old mule out of his misery and have his wellfilled.The farmer asked his neighbors to help him with theshoveling. To work they went. As they threwshovel-full of dirt after shovel-full of dirt on themule's back, the mule became frightened.Then all of a sudden an idea came to the mule. Eachtime they would throw a shovel-full of dirt on hisback, he would shake it off and step up.Shovel-full after shovel-full, the mule would shakeit off and step up. In not too long a time, theexhausted and dirty mule stepped over the top of thewell and through the crowd.That's the same approach we all need to take. Weneed to shake it off and step up.Finally, you need to FORGIVE. It's difficult,especially when the other person doesn't deserveyour forgiveness or doesn't even seek it. It'sdifficult when the other person is clearly in thewrong.Part of the difficulty comes from a commonmisunderstanding of forgiveness.Forgiveness doesn't mean that the other person'sbehavior is okay. And forgiveness doesn't mean thatthe other person is off the hook. He's stillresponsible for his misbehavior.Forgiveness is about letting yourself off theemotional hook. It's about releasing your negativeemotions, attitudes, and behaviors. It's aboutletting go of the past so you can go forward to thefuture.Everyone in your life, everyone on and off the jobis going to disappoint you. If you know how torespond to those situations, you'll be way ahead ofmost people. You'll be able to live above and beyondyour circumstances.Action:Identify two people that have disappointed, hurt, orangered you. If?possible, select two people towardswhom you still have some bitterness.Then ask yourself, "How does my bitterness serve me?Am I happier holding on to it?Do I sleep better?Is my life richer, fuller, and better because of my bitterness?"If you find that your bitterness is hurting you, make a decision.Actually decide to let it go.Walk away from the disappointment -- which means youno longer dwell on it or talk about it. Period!Or as Islam teaches us, the true believer is the one whocan forgive while she is angry.
Giving: The Very Foundation of Love
At this time, it is natural for you to be thinking about all that you have given to that person from whom you are now separating. Not only is this natural; it is necessary, in order for you to establish a better understanding of your potential for future growth. To dwell upon the idea that you gave too much or too little, however, is counterproductive and will keep you tied to the past. You must be able to see the act of giving as being intimately connected to that which you receive in your life experiences.
In order to have a clearer knowledge of the relationship between giving and receiving, you will have to consider what your motivation was in giving something in the first place. Where you feel pain or resentment for what you have given, the guiding force behind the giving was itself negative. It was based upon a calculation of what you expected to receive in return. The benefits of love cannot be calculated. Where you feel genuine joy for having given, it is because your giving was really a sharing of yourself. Giving as sharing of oneself is the very foundation of love.
Your mind should be focused on the spiritual sharing which was the core of your relationship. This is not to say that the material concerns involved in this separation are not important. They are; but they are secondary to your development as a person capable of sharing a life with someone else. And you should treat them as such. If there must be a division of shared material possessions, then go about making this division with a sense of fairness and love.
When you give freely, you are always the recipient. Keep this idea foremost in your mind. As you examine your past, try to recognize the occasions when your open sharing of yourself was the source of your joy and of your sense of freedom. Concentrate upon the experiences in which the love you received was the pure counterpart of the love you gave.
This period of separation affords you the opportunity to learn more about yourself and your potential for giving. Carry the fruits of the experiences you shared in the relationship into your present life. Practice freely the act of giving and of seeing this giving as a sharing of yourself. Life itself is the greatest giver of all. By realizing this, you will be at peace with yourself and capable of giving back to life your greatest gift-yourself.
In order to have a clearer knowledge of the relationship between giving and receiving, you will have to consider what your motivation was in giving something in the first place. Where you feel pain or resentment for what you have given, the guiding force behind the giving was itself negative. It was based upon a calculation of what you expected to receive in return. The benefits of love cannot be calculated. Where you feel genuine joy for having given, it is because your giving was really a sharing of yourself. Giving as sharing of oneself is the very foundation of love.
Your mind should be focused on the spiritual sharing which was the core of your relationship. This is not to say that the material concerns involved in this separation are not important. They are; but they are secondary to your development as a person capable of sharing a life with someone else. And you should treat them as such. If there must be a division of shared material possessions, then go about making this division with a sense of fairness and love.
When you give freely, you are always the recipient. Keep this idea foremost in your mind. As you examine your past, try to recognize the occasions when your open sharing of yourself was the source of your joy and of your sense of freedom. Concentrate upon the experiences in which the love you received was the pure counterpart of the love you gave.
This period of separation affords you the opportunity to learn more about yourself and your potential for giving. Carry the fruits of the experiences you shared in the relationship into your present life. Practice freely the act of giving and of seeing this giving as a sharing of yourself. Life itself is the greatest giver of all. By realizing this, you will be at peace with yourself and capable of giving back to life your greatest gift-yourself.
“The Journey from Separation in Love to Fulfillment in Life”
The falling out of lovers is the renewing of love. - Robert Burton
Surround yourself with love. Though this may seem to you the most impossible emotion to experience in the first stages following a separation, it is to become your course of action when you realize that love is the key to your control of self and to the door that is opening toward your new reality. Love is what brought you into your relationship and love is the power that will lead you to the meaningful resolution of your situation.
This decision to love must first take effect with reference to yourself and to the person from whom you are separating. You must love yourself for those qualities which brought you into the realm of that other person: your willingness to give of yourself and to take the risk of being hurt. And to love the other person in spite of the pain you are feeling is to allow that person the same freedom you will both need in order to move on. Love is a force that renews us and prepares us for tomorrow. Hatred is a shackle that keeps us tied to the past. Drop the shackles!
The one from whom you have separated will not soon be forgotten, though great distances may separate the two of you. Give the memory of that person the chance to help you by insisting on remembering the beautiful experiences that united you. The painful ones which separated you will need no coaxing from the memory. Turn your anger into love. Take the qualities you found in the other person and develop them in yourself, use them as a way of better experiencing your love for all the others who are important in your life. After all, those were qualities which brought you into love and they are no less worthy today.
Love has no guilt and no boundaries. In fact, it has no definition. Yes, it is the force which takes us out of ourselves so that we may share ourselves with others. Yet it is also the force that leads us into ourselves, so that we may understand and prepare ourselves for the act of giving. You cannot resolve the bitterness and pain of the separation you are experiencing by continuing to dwell on these feelings. Come alive with the force which is the essence of life itself. You are leaving one relationship, one stop in your journey. There is still a path before you. Walk in love.
Surround yourself with love. Though this may seem to you the most impossible emotion to experience in the first stages following a separation, it is to become your course of action when you realize that love is the key to your control of self and to the door that is opening toward your new reality. Love is what brought you into your relationship and love is the power that will lead you to the meaningful resolution of your situation.
This decision to love must first take effect with reference to yourself and to the person from whom you are separating. You must love yourself for those qualities which brought you into the realm of that other person: your willingness to give of yourself and to take the risk of being hurt. And to love the other person in spite of the pain you are feeling is to allow that person the same freedom you will both need in order to move on. Love is a force that renews us and prepares us for tomorrow. Hatred is a shackle that keeps us tied to the past. Drop the shackles!
The one from whom you have separated will not soon be forgotten, though great distances may separate the two of you. Give the memory of that person the chance to help you by insisting on remembering the beautiful experiences that united you. The painful ones which separated you will need no coaxing from the memory. Turn your anger into love. Take the qualities you found in the other person and develop them in yourself, use them as a way of better experiencing your love for all the others who are important in your life. After all, those were qualities which brought you into love and they are no less worthy today.
Love has no guilt and no boundaries. In fact, it has no definition. Yes, it is the force which takes us out of ourselves so that we may share ourselves with others. Yet it is also the force that leads us into ourselves, so that we may understand and prepare ourselves for the act of giving. You cannot resolve the bitterness and pain of the separation you are experiencing by continuing to dwell on these feelings. Come alive with the force which is the essence of life itself. You are leaving one relationship, one stop in your journey. There is still a path before you. Walk in love.
The Art of Letting Go
What do those two words mean to you? Letting go. For me there are really two questions that spring to mind here. What are the kinds of things we want to let go of? and Why should I do this? i.e. What is the benefit for me?
Letting go is simply making a decision – no longer to allow something from the past to influence your life now or to reduce your inner sense of peace and well-being. So all we need to do is to let go of the beliefs and attitudes that prevent us from experiencing the joy of the moment. The problem comes in identifying exactly what that means; we have so many beliefs that prevent us from being in the here and now, from being content and peaceful within.
Taking Responsibility for Our Own Lives
One of the worst attitudes is 'Things happen to me', not from me but to me; a degree of victim mentality. At any level we really need to accept the full responsibility for whatever happens to us.
Or we can take the responsibility to accept that what happened to us five minutes ago is no longer of any importance because that was five minutes ago and this is now. If we are holding onto the incident, we continue to hurt ourselves. What happens subsequently is important but not what happened in itself. Something happens, and it sets off a sequence of events. So let go of the bit that happened back there and deal with the bit in the sequence that is actually occurring now.
The important thing is not holding on to anything any longer than it actually lasts. In reality, all we need to do is experience the learning and move on immediately.
Learning from Experience
Sometimes we convince ourselves that we need to 'hold on' in order to extract the learning from it. If you are repeating big patterns, you can retain the memory in terms of what not to do next time, but not the emotional content it aroused in you. Thus you can get the maximum amount of learning but ultimately that's still part of the letting go process. If it's a traumatic experience that's teaching you a lot, keep it as something to learn from, while letting go of your attachment to it, let go of it emotionally. That's the basis of letting go of our beliefs and attitudes that anything happens to us, that we are a victim of anybody.
Making Choices
Life is a series of choices of how to behave. Often we make these choices automatically, without really being aware of what we are choosing or why. But no matter what anyone does in any aspect of their life, it is still a choice they have made. And, of course, in making choices we also make mistakes. It is from those mistakes that we learn about ourselves and others. And we learn how to make different choices next time if we remain open to the process of making mistakes. But one thing stops us learning from choices and that is fear. Fear of judgement and criticism, which is usually felt as shame or guilt.
So the second thing we have to let go of is all of our judgements and values and ideas of what should be or what shouldn't be. We should have no values, no judgements, no morals, no criticisms, no ideas of what is or should or shouldn't be. None at all. Because if we have an idea of what is or what should or shouldn't be we are making a judgement on something that is as it is, as God or as the Universe intended. It is as it is, and it is perfect as it is for the people who are involved in that scenario. That applies to us in our lives, but because it is a principle it applies equally to the people in a war crisis, for instance. And that's where the understanding becomes really difficult to accept. You may say, "Hold on, this is not right" but it is, it's right for them, and I'll go back to a previous point. The angrier everybody gets about a situation, the worse it gets. This is not at all pleasant or emotionally intelligent but judging won't improve it either; it will make it worse. If everybody stops being angry about a situation it disappears; the war will not happen.
Keeping Neutral, Learning Acceptance
If we see something and make a judgement or a criticism about it we are adding our angry 'energy' to that situation. We are actually increasing it. If we collectively say, "What is happening in this war or that country now is terrible", we are adding to the energy of that event; we are making it worse for the people in it. What we need to do is to stay completely neutral and know the highest truth i.e. what is happening there is as it should be for those people, however traumatic.
We've all been through equivalent experiences one way or another, so we've got to let go of the idea that it's right or wrong; that's just the way it is for those people. The most important point to make here is that making choices is not making a judgement. It is just saying, 'choose not to behave in this way'. Eventually, if we allow everybody to learn without fear, then the mistakes stop being so terrible and the results stop being too damaging and dramatic on individuals and society. But it has to happen that way round – that we suspend the judgement before others stop doing whatever we originally judged. We cannot expect them to stop before we stop judging.
What we can do is make our own structure for the choices we would make but without saying we are right, and that is wrong. It is saying this is what we would do as far as we know at this moment. Period. Not that it's right or wrong.
So what if we saw an old lady being mugged in the street? Should we just walk on?
No. If possible, and not to the detriment of your own safety, you can choose to intervene with the action but what you mustn't do is add your judgement or criticism to it. You must not judge either party involved. That is the tricky bit. Saying 'that's not my choice of behaviour but I accept their right to do that – and I will intervene because that is my choice'. We have to accept the consequence of that choice, which might be that you get mugged.
People and Behaviour are not the Same
Something that gives a depth of understanding is to recognize that the action is not the person. You can say that action is not good, but the person is perfect, they are perfect in as far as they have got in their own learning about life. We cannot possibly see what the master plan for the Universe is, so if we start judging and criticizing we are saying we know better than God, the universe, energy or whatever, and we don't. We have to let go of the assumption that we know.
The trouble with a little bit of enlightenment, a little bit of spiritual awareness, is that you suddenly get into a kind of spiritual judgementalism: 'I know, and you lot all don't'. It's a very difficult ego state to get out of. Eventually you do get kicked out of it because you realize that you're not that much different to them. You just realize a little bit more of what you're learning next, you're a bit more aware of it. It's very important not to assume that we have some greater understanding.
All spiritual teachings include a section about not judging because to do so would be hypocritical. None of us has always got it right, or, should I say, made the best choices. But if we learn from it and don't repeat it that is the most anyone can ask.
So we do have to separate the behaviour from the person and take that to the highest levels, such as a war crisis, which appears so horrendous. We can choose to keep our thoughts out of it and know that that situation will heal itself when everybody has learnt what they can.
Becoming More Emotionally Intelligent Helps the World Too
If we replace judgemental values with a sense of our self-worth, and how we wish to express that essence of us to the rest of the world, we choose to live in a way that helps to heal ourselves and other people. We accept it in a way that is unconditionally accepting of ourselves and of other people, so we drop our barriers in order to help heal the world. We help to heal everything in the rest of the world by dropping our sense of what is right or wrong. There is a fine line between making a decision about how to behave and making a criticism or judgement of behaviour in others. Once you can see where it is, you can stay on the one side of it. Just consider for a moment how differently you respond if you feel critically judged compared with being accepted as you are. That applies to the whole universe too.
Fixed Ideas of What Will Be
The next thing is expectations of outcome: if I do this, then that will happen. Our disappointment is always based on what we think should have happened or what we hoped would happen or what we thought the other person should do. It is never based on what has actually happened, it is based on our disappointment that what we wanted didn't occur. So we want to control the universe, thinking we know better than God etc. again. If we decide what we think should happen is right we are getting back into judgements. But God is neutral. It doesn't say, "You are bad because you made that mistake today and you are good because you did that". God acknowledges: "You are learning, you are going in the right direction and doing the best that you can do at any time" and that's what we need to start working from.
My understanding is that God is the supreme intelligence but is also an evolving consciousness, and as our consciousness evolves we contribute to the evolution of God-consciousness. We are all God, or spirit, having a human experience and when we raise our consciousness individually we are also, in a collective way, raising God-consciousness, because we are all God anyway. That is the point of creativity; that is the point of intelligence. Evolution occurs as a result of intelligence, not the other way round. So if God-consciousness is the ultimate intelligence that lets go without judgement, then we have got to emulate that by letting go without any judgement or questioning about anyone else.
God lets us go where we want, to expand our consciousness, including making some stupid mistakes and making some wonderful discoveries in human terms. If we are allowed to do that, so then is everyone else.
Interconnectedness and the Oneness
Why is it important for us to raise our consciousness and let go of our beliefs in order to help everyone else comes back to the connectedness of everything in the universe?
Some people want to move and grow faster and others grow more slowly. All travel. Some are trying to slow the others down and some are trying to speed the others up, but whatever each one does affects the others next to it. We are all units of vibrating energy, according to quantum physics. So our emotional energy will affect the people around us. Miserable people are a drain on us; we call them a drag, and they are dragging our energy down. We want to vibrate more lightly, more harmoniously, and they are slowing us down. By lifting our vibrations through our self-development, and releasing our sense of judgements, criticism and control, we are actually allowing everybody else around us to speed up as well. So ultimately we have one responsibility and that is to raise our consciousness sufficiently to help raise the other ones around us. So we have to choose to let go of the illusions of what was or what will be, of right or wrong, and to increase our vibrations. And then we automatically raise the vibrations of those around us.
The final belief that we need to let go of is that our individual humanhood really matters. Everything will be as it is. It doesn't matter how it is because however it is and wherever it is going it will get there because it can't not. Probably where it's going doesn't matter because there isn't a decision about where it's going to go. There is no limit to where it's going to go. If you decide it's going to go from 'here' to 'there' you are immediately placing a limit on where it can go to, but it doesn't matter where it's going. So we have to let go of the idea that humanhood really matters. We are in it and it is part of our experience and we do have to live with our feet in both human and spiritual worlds but we have got to let go of the idea that this matters.
Changing One's Perceptions
One of the best ways to deal with this is to think, 'will I feel this stressed about this situation tomorrow, or next week, or next year or in five years' time?', and the answer is usually no, not if you let it go. If you go straight to that feeling of detachment and let go of 'what I am feeling now', it becomes much more comfortable. Try using these statements in your life:
* I can't control what is happening in the world;
* I can say loud and clear that I want this or that to happen;
* I can accept that if it doesn't, there is some good reason for it though I can't see what that might be;
* I'm not God and I don't know what that good reason is now, but if I remain open then I will find it;
* I have to let go of what I think it should be and I will find it is far better.
So we've got to get away from what we think things ought to be and get to our free will. Our free will is our choice and we are affected by the wisdom of our choices. We are not right or wrong in the choices we make. It may not even be the same choice for the next day. You might make a different choice, but for that moment in time it is right and that is the same for everybody. We have to let go of a sense of being right or wrong and allow things to be as they are, to accept the process of change in ourselves and others and give each other the freedom to change and learn without judgement. We have to let go of our thoughts and learn to listen and wait. We have to let go of our expectations and let things and people be as they are and we have to let go of the need to do and simply allow ourselves to grow and change daily.
What are the Real Benefits to Me of This Approach to Life?
So what is the point of it all? This is easier.
* If we learn to let go we acquire a greater sense of being in the present. A greater sense that our needs actually are being met, because at any given moment they are, so don't worry about what's going to happen tomorrow because today everything is fine.
* If we let go of expectations and judgements, we find a sense of calm and inner peace, because we are not in conflict with what we think should be. We also have a far greater sense of strength, and respond to the moment instead of the past. Our vulnerability is never in the moment; it's in what we fear will be. Have you ever noticed that you are usually frightened after or in anticipation of what will happen but very rarely in the moment? So we get a sense of our strength because we are right in the here and now. We lose our vulnerability which is based on what if, not on the here and now.
* We have greater acceptance of others and therefore we make a greater contribution to raising their awareness, a greater sense of truly going with the flow.
* We gain a sense of fun and freedom in all we do. How often do we go out and dig a hole in the garden and then fill it in again just for fun? Adults don't often do that, kids do and really enjoy it but adults don't really do that kind of stuff, they want to be sensible. But that is what being is, digging holes and filling them in again, just for the fun of it.
So start thinking about what you're doing and have fun with it. It's a weird sense of just letting go and not having a reason for doing something. Do it because you really just want to. Have you seen how much energy people put into building a sandcastle, just to watch the sea wash it away? And you may think what a waste of time, but it's not, it's a wonderful thing, you're in the moment, you're there and you just did it for the hell of it. Live all of your life as if it was building a sandcastle. There can be no better reason for doing something other than you're enjoying it.
Actually it's the best reason for doing something. Enjoying something is our choice.
Becoming fully immersed in what you're doing, called mindfulness in Buddhism, is a very good way of letting go, letting go of all the other stuff around you, so that all your concentration is based on what you're doing. You're not making judgements; you're not having expectations of outcome. The key thing is that the more we let go of these attributes of victimhood and judgement, the more we move into our true nature. Living without judgement means living in a state of being.
Being reveals our true identity and oneness with creation. It allows us to release concepts of who we are and allow the spiritual identity to emerge. Being places us beyond the world's effects and allows us to live at a different level of consciousness. It allows us to have without fear of loss, without needing to control and judge, to live and be truly free.
So begin to let all your life become one big let-go experience and then see what happens next. Allow each day to unfold for you not as you would choose but to reveal to you your true nature. That is the true meaning of intelligence.
Letting go is simply making a decision – no longer to allow something from the past to influence your life now or to reduce your inner sense of peace and well-being. So all we need to do is to let go of the beliefs and attitudes that prevent us from experiencing the joy of the moment. The problem comes in identifying exactly what that means; we have so many beliefs that prevent us from being in the here and now, from being content and peaceful within.
Taking Responsibility for Our Own Lives
One of the worst attitudes is 'Things happen to me', not from me but to me; a degree of victim mentality. At any level we really need to accept the full responsibility for whatever happens to us.
Or we can take the responsibility to accept that what happened to us five minutes ago is no longer of any importance because that was five minutes ago and this is now. If we are holding onto the incident, we continue to hurt ourselves. What happens subsequently is important but not what happened in itself. Something happens, and it sets off a sequence of events. So let go of the bit that happened back there and deal with the bit in the sequence that is actually occurring now.
The important thing is not holding on to anything any longer than it actually lasts. In reality, all we need to do is experience the learning and move on immediately.
Learning from Experience
Sometimes we convince ourselves that we need to 'hold on' in order to extract the learning from it. If you are repeating big patterns, you can retain the memory in terms of what not to do next time, but not the emotional content it aroused in you. Thus you can get the maximum amount of learning but ultimately that's still part of the letting go process. If it's a traumatic experience that's teaching you a lot, keep it as something to learn from, while letting go of your attachment to it, let go of it emotionally. That's the basis of letting go of our beliefs and attitudes that anything happens to us, that we are a victim of anybody.
Making Choices
Life is a series of choices of how to behave. Often we make these choices automatically, without really being aware of what we are choosing or why. But no matter what anyone does in any aspect of their life, it is still a choice they have made. And, of course, in making choices we also make mistakes. It is from those mistakes that we learn about ourselves and others. And we learn how to make different choices next time if we remain open to the process of making mistakes. But one thing stops us learning from choices and that is fear. Fear of judgement and criticism, which is usually felt as shame or guilt.
So the second thing we have to let go of is all of our judgements and values and ideas of what should be or what shouldn't be. We should have no values, no judgements, no morals, no criticisms, no ideas of what is or should or shouldn't be. None at all. Because if we have an idea of what is or what should or shouldn't be we are making a judgement on something that is as it is, as God or as the Universe intended. It is as it is, and it is perfect as it is for the people who are involved in that scenario. That applies to us in our lives, but because it is a principle it applies equally to the people in a war crisis, for instance. And that's where the understanding becomes really difficult to accept. You may say, "Hold on, this is not right" but it is, it's right for them, and I'll go back to a previous point. The angrier everybody gets about a situation, the worse it gets. This is not at all pleasant or emotionally intelligent but judging won't improve it either; it will make it worse. If everybody stops being angry about a situation it disappears; the war will not happen.
Keeping Neutral, Learning Acceptance
If we see something and make a judgement or a criticism about it we are adding our angry 'energy' to that situation. We are actually increasing it. If we collectively say, "What is happening in this war or that country now is terrible", we are adding to the energy of that event; we are making it worse for the people in it. What we need to do is to stay completely neutral and know the highest truth i.e. what is happening there is as it should be for those people, however traumatic.
We've all been through equivalent experiences one way or another, so we've got to let go of the idea that it's right or wrong; that's just the way it is for those people. The most important point to make here is that making choices is not making a judgement. It is just saying, 'choose not to behave in this way'. Eventually, if we allow everybody to learn without fear, then the mistakes stop being so terrible and the results stop being too damaging and dramatic on individuals and society. But it has to happen that way round – that we suspend the judgement before others stop doing whatever we originally judged. We cannot expect them to stop before we stop judging.
What we can do is make our own structure for the choices we would make but without saying we are right, and that is wrong. It is saying this is what we would do as far as we know at this moment. Period. Not that it's right or wrong.
So what if we saw an old lady being mugged in the street? Should we just walk on?
No. If possible, and not to the detriment of your own safety, you can choose to intervene with the action but what you mustn't do is add your judgement or criticism to it. You must not judge either party involved. That is the tricky bit. Saying 'that's not my choice of behaviour but I accept their right to do that – and I will intervene because that is my choice'. We have to accept the consequence of that choice, which might be that you get mugged.
People and Behaviour are not the Same
Something that gives a depth of understanding is to recognize that the action is not the person. You can say that action is not good, but the person is perfect, they are perfect in as far as they have got in their own learning about life. We cannot possibly see what the master plan for the Universe is, so if we start judging and criticizing we are saying we know better than God, the universe, energy or whatever, and we don't. We have to let go of the assumption that we know.
The trouble with a little bit of enlightenment, a little bit of spiritual awareness, is that you suddenly get into a kind of spiritual judgementalism: 'I know, and you lot all don't'. It's a very difficult ego state to get out of. Eventually you do get kicked out of it because you realize that you're not that much different to them. You just realize a little bit more of what you're learning next, you're a bit more aware of it. It's very important not to assume that we have some greater understanding.
All spiritual teachings include a section about not judging because to do so would be hypocritical. None of us has always got it right, or, should I say, made the best choices. But if we learn from it and don't repeat it that is the most anyone can ask.
So we do have to separate the behaviour from the person and take that to the highest levels, such as a war crisis, which appears so horrendous. We can choose to keep our thoughts out of it and know that that situation will heal itself when everybody has learnt what they can.
Becoming More Emotionally Intelligent Helps the World Too
If we replace judgemental values with a sense of our self-worth, and how we wish to express that essence of us to the rest of the world, we choose to live in a way that helps to heal ourselves and other people. We accept it in a way that is unconditionally accepting of ourselves and of other people, so we drop our barriers in order to help heal the world. We help to heal everything in the rest of the world by dropping our sense of what is right or wrong. There is a fine line between making a decision about how to behave and making a criticism or judgement of behaviour in others. Once you can see where it is, you can stay on the one side of it. Just consider for a moment how differently you respond if you feel critically judged compared with being accepted as you are. That applies to the whole universe too.
Fixed Ideas of What Will Be
The next thing is expectations of outcome: if I do this, then that will happen. Our disappointment is always based on what we think should have happened or what we hoped would happen or what we thought the other person should do. It is never based on what has actually happened, it is based on our disappointment that what we wanted didn't occur. So we want to control the universe, thinking we know better than God etc. again. If we decide what we think should happen is right we are getting back into judgements. But God is neutral. It doesn't say, "You are bad because you made that mistake today and you are good because you did that". God acknowledges: "You are learning, you are going in the right direction and doing the best that you can do at any time" and that's what we need to start working from.
My understanding is that God is the supreme intelligence but is also an evolving consciousness, and as our consciousness evolves we contribute to the evolution of God-consciousness. We are all God, or spirit, having a human experience and when we raise our consciousness individually we are also, in a collective way, raising God-consciousness, because we are all God anyway. That is the point of creativity; that is the point of intelligence. Evolution occurs as a result of intelligence, not the other way round. So if God-consciousness is the ultimate intelligence that lets go without judgement, then we have got to emulate that by letting go without any judgement or questioning about anyone else.
God lets us go where we want, to expand our consciousness, including making some stupid mistakes and making some wonderful discoveries in human terms. If we are allowed to do that, so then is everyone else.
Interconnectedness and the Oneness
Why is it important for us to raise our consciousness and let go of our beliefs in order to help everyone else comes back to the connectedness of everything in the universe?
Some people want to move and grow faster and others grow more slowly. All travel. Some are trying to slow the others down and some are trying to speed the others up, but whatever each one does affects the others next to it. We are all units of vibrating energy, according to quantum physics. So our emotional energy will affect the people around us. Miserable people are a drain on us; we call them a drag, and they are dragging our energy down. We want to vibrate more lightly, more harmoniously, and they are slowing us down. By lifting our vibrations through our self-development, and releasing our sense of judgements, criticism and control, we are actually allowing everybody else around us to speed up as well. So ultimately we have one responsibility and that is to raise our consciousness sufficiently to help raise the other ones around us. So we have to choose to let go of the illusions of what was or what will be, of right or wrong, and to increase our vibrations. And then we automatically raise the vibrations of those around us.
The final belief that we need to let go of is that our individual humanhood really matters. Everything will be as it is. It doesn't matter how it is because however it is and wherever it is going it will get there because it can't not. Probably where it's going doesn't matter because there isn't a decision about where it's going to go. There is no limit to where it's going to go. If you decide it's going to go from 'here' to 'there' you are immediately placing a limit on where it can go to, but it doesn't matter where it's going. So we have to let go of the idea that humanhood really matters. We are in it and it is part of our experience and we do have to live with our feet in both human and spiritual worlds but we have got to let go of the idea that this matters.
Changing One's Perceptions
One of the best ways to deal with this is to think, 'will I feel this stressed about this situation tomorrow, or next week, or next year or in five years' time?', and the answer is usually no, not if you let it go. If you go straight to that feeling of detachment and let go of 'what I am feeling now', it becomes much more comfortable. Try using these statements in your life:
* I can't control what is happening in the world;
* I can say loud and clear that I want this or that to happen;
* I can accept that if it doesn't, there is some good reason for it though I can't see what that might be;
* I'm not God and I don't know what that good reason is now, but if I remain open then I will find it;
* I have to let go of what I think it should be and I will find it is far better.
So we've got to get away from what we think things ought to be and get to our free will. Our free will is our choice and we are affected by the wisdom of our choices. We are not right or wrong in the choices we make. It may not even be the same choice for the next day. You might make a different choice, but for that moment in time it is right and that is the same for everybody. We have to let go of a sense of being right or wrong and allow things to be as they are, to accept the process of change in ourselves and others and give each other the freedom to change and learn without judgement. We have to let go of our thoughts and learn to listen and wait. We have to let go of our expectations and let things and people be as they are and we have to let go of the need to do and simply allow ourselves to grow and change daily.
What are the Real Benefits to Me of This Approach to Life?
So what is the point of it all? This is easier.
* If we learn to let go we acquire a greater sense of being in the present. A greater sense that our needs actually are being met, because at any given moment they are, so don't worry about what's going to happen tomorrow because today everything is fine.
* If we let go of expectations and judgements, we find a sense of calm and inner peace, because we are not in conflict with what we think should be. We also have a far greater sense of strength, and respond to the moment instead of the past. Our vulnerability is never in the moment; it's in what we fear will be. Have you ever noticed that you are usually frightened after or in anticipation of what will happen but very rarely in the moment? So we get a sense of our strength because we are right in the here and now. We lose our vulnerability which is based on what if, not on the here and now.
* We have greater acceptance of others and therefore we make a greater contribution to raising their awareness, a greater sense of truly going with the flow.
* We gain a sense of fun and freedom in all we do. How often do we go out and dig a hole in the garden and then fill it in again just for fun? Adults don't often do that, kids do and really enjoy it but adults don't really do that kind of stuff, they want to be sensible. But that is what being is, digging holes and filling them in again, just for the fun of it.
So start thinking about what you're doing and have fun with it. It's a weird sense of just letting go and not having a reason for doing something. Do it because you really just want to. Have you seen how much energy people put into building a sandcastle, just to watch the sea wash it away? And you may think what a waste of time, but it's not, it's a wonderful thing, you're in the moment, you're there and you just did it for the hell of it. Live all of your life as if it was building a sandcastle. There can be no better reason for doing something other than you're enjoying it.
Actually it's the best reason for doing something. Enjoying something is our choice.
Becoming fully immersed in what you're doing, called mindfulness in Buddhism, is a very good way of letting go, letting go of all the other stuff around you, so that all your concentration is based on what you're doing. You're not making judgements; you're not having expectations of outcome. The key thing is that the more we let go of these attributes of victimhood and judgement, the more we move into our true nature. Living without judgement means living in a state of being.
Being reveals our true identity and oneness with creation. It allows us to release concepts of who we are and allow the spiritual identity to emerge. Being places us beyond the world's effects and allows us to live at a different level of consciousness. It allows us to have without fear of loss, without needing to control and judge, to live and be truly free.
So begin to let all your life become one big let-go experience and then see what happens next. Allow each day to unfold for you not as you would choose but to reveal to you your true nature. That is the true meaning of intelligence.
I'm Gonna Love You
Angel in disguise
Stories in his eyes
Love for every true heart that it sees.
Was it just a lucky day
That it turned to look my way
Or is it Heaven right before my very eyes.
He showed me all new things
The shimmer of moonbeams
I was blind, but now he's helped me see.
I was lost but now I'm found
His happiness surrounds
And now I find that my dreams can come true.
[ Chorus ]
Cause I'm gonna love you forthe rest of my life
I'm holding you safe here in this heart of mine
I can't live without you cause my soul would die
You know I'm telling the truth,
I'll spend the rest of my life loving you
It didn't start this way
It happened just one day
You smiled at me and I saw you, differently.
Now I'm a tremble just to be
A part of you as we
Begin a life that's sure to never end.
[ Chorus ]
I dedicate this song to the one of the Tech Support Agents in Alorica. MATT ARNOLD RIVERA ang name niya. Si Mommy Shobe lam na tungkol diyan. Hoy Ate Rizza, pangalawa ka pa lang. Kasi kaw lang ang may alam na nag-aaccess nito weh. If one day malaman niya, okay lang. AT least alam na niya diba? Inspired pako everyday.
Love yah!
Stories in his eyes
Love for every true heart that it sees.
Was it just a lucky day
That it turned to look my way
Or is it Heaven right before my very eyes.
He showed me all new things
The shimmer of moonbeams
I was blind, but now he's helped me see.
I was lost but now I'm found
His happiness surrounds
And now I find that my dreams can come true.
[ Chorus ]
Cause I'm gonna love you forthe rest of my life
I'm holding you safe here in this heart of mine
I can't live without you cause my soul would die
You know I'm telling the truth,
I'll spend the rest of my life loving you
It didn't start this way
It happened just one day
You smiled at me and I saw you, differently.
Now I'm a tremble just to be
A part of you as we
Begin a life that's sure to never end.
[ Chorus ]
I dedicate this song to the one of the Tech Support Agents in Alorica. MATT ARNOLD RIVERA ang name niya. Si Mommy Shobe lam na tungkol diyan. Hoy Ate Rizza, pangalawa ka pa lang. Kasi kaw lang ang may alam na nag-aaccess nito weh. If one day malaman niya, okay lang. AT least alam na niya diba? Inspired pako everyday.
Love yah!
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
An open letter to Alorica...
Alorica, tanda mo pa ba noon nung naghahanap ako ng trabaho sa paligid ng buong Emerald Ave? May nagturo sa akin noon na pumunta ako sa Wynsum Corporate Plaza. Akyat ng elevator baba ka sa 33rd Floor. Ginawa ko iyon, pagkatapos ay umupo ako sa isang sulok. Hiningi ng guwardiya at receptionist ang resume ko diba? Ipinasok nila doon sa loob ng opisina. Biglang tinawag yung pangalan ko at pinapasok ako sa isang room, nagpakilala sa akin yung empleyado mo, si Ms. Vanessa. Interview muna niya ako then exam. Pagkatapos, tinawag ulit ako sa loob, Si Ms. Ghay Panganiban na yata ang kumausap sa akin. Sinabi niya sa akin na kung gusto ko is Technical Support Representative ang position ko. Tinanggap ko na rin ang lahat ng consequences, magkaroon lang ng kabuluhan ang pagpunta ko sa iyo. Pumatak noon ang 5pm. Aba ako na lang ang natira sa reception area mo. Then afterwards, YES!!!! hired na po ako. Thank You Alorica. Inampon mo na ako.
Una mo akong pinasabak sa training ng Soft Skills under MS. Angela and Ms. Melody. Madali lang kaya pumasa ako. Alam mo ba Alorica na pinaiyak pa ko ni Ms. Melody sa Revalida namin? Siya naman kasi, inungkat pa buhay ko. Pagkatapos, ipinunta mo naman ako sa isang branch mo, sa Libis. Hinasa mo ako sa Product Training under Ms. Leah Tarroza (mommy Leigh, I love you!!) Nalaman mo ang katotohanan tungkol sa akin. Saksi palagi ang training room mo na malapit sa pantry sa mga pinagdaanan ko. Nariyan ang umiyak ako talaga dahil sa lagi kami napapagalitan ni mami leah kasi hindi kami makasagot sa tanong niya. Masyado kasi ako emotional. Sa dami ba naman ng pinagdaanan ko, talagang iiyak ako. First call ko pa diba, si Gerzon, IRATE pa ang loko. Panu ba naman, sa akin sinisi yung ginawa nung mga agents na sinira yung Internet connection niya. Buti dumating si Mam Leah, tanda ko pa linya ko nun "Hello Gerzon, I'll have you talk to my supervisor okay?", Oo naman si Gerzon. Doon ko lang narealize yung problema niya. Na-I love you pa si Mam Leah, hahalikan pa daw siya kung naroon siya sa tabi niya. Na-imagine ko tuloy kung ano yung saya ni Gerzon nung naayos ang computer at Internet niya. Second time ako na nag-call, fluent na yung kausap ko. Hindi ko alam na binabarge pala ako ni Mam Leah. My God, para akong natutunaw na ice cream sa hiya. Hindi ko masyado alam pa yung gagawin ko. After configuration page, ano na ang gagawin ko? PATAY KA NA NGAYON? Ilang beses ko nag-hold sa caller dahil ang katangahan ko umiral. Pagkatapos ng call, kinausap kami nun ni mam leah, sabi niya:
MAM LEAH
Aj, hindi ako galit ha. Please do not think of that. Ang gusto ko is matuto kayo para pagdating ninyo sa floor, alam ninyo na gagawin ninyo.
Nakuha ko gusto niya sabihin, para rin naman sa kapakanan namin iyon eh. Ayaw din niya magmukha kami tanga na trainees niya. Ang maganda lang , hindi niya sinasabihan na "Gusto mo ng TSINELAS?" Minsan kasi si mam leah, parang laging nagagalit. Iniisip ko na lang na baka may problema siya na nadadala lang sa opisina kaya iniintindi ko na lang siya, pero pagkalabas namin ng training room, BACK TO NORMAL na naman kami kung magbiruan. Parang walang nangyari.
One time, kinausap ako ni Ms. Leah. Team Endorsemtents na pala.On that day, makikilala na namin ang aming mga supervisor. Si Nel at Mike kay Mam Claire (hello mommy!!) Si Jayson at Mon, kay Ms. Maricar (twin sister ko! Ako kasi si MARIMAR eh!) Si Jami,kay Sir Riomar. Ako naman kay Sir Arvin. Dama ko yung warm ng welcome ng team niya sakin. Sabi pa nga ni mam leah: Arvin, gawin mong lalaki yan. (Kung kaya gawin ni Sir Arvin! Wahahahha!). Sa apat na sulok ng Call Center floor mo, tuluyan kong nadevelop ang sarili ko. Madami akong friends, si Ingrid, Flory Anne, Shobe, Matt, Mam Claire, Sir Chris, Ms. Feigh,Ms. Angie, si Jayson (friend siya ni May, nasa D-Link Canada) tsaka madami pang iba. Alam mo, Alorica, kung sakaling iwanan talaga kita,mamimiss kita ng sobra. Lam mo ba na umiiyak na ko habang ginagawa ko ito? Kasi ang sakit ng kalooban ko. Parang iiwanan na nga kita. Pero kailangan kong gawin, para rin naman sa ikabubuti ko ito. Pero hindi ko kayang iwanan ang kumpanyang umampon sa akin at halos ikaluha ko dahil hindi ako tinatanggap ng iba. Salamat inampon mo ako.
Now after almost a month without Alorica, adjustment is not that easy, but Im moving on, a little more push and I'll eventually get by. Mahirap lang coz you're losing not only mere friends, but a family. A family so dear, so close to my heart. I will always remember these people na sobrang naging importanteng part ng buhay ko. Goodbye is bitter, yet I guess, this is the ultimate test of everything we do. Coz if we see the bright side behind goodbye, then we can finally say that we won the game. It sure would throb, it would ache so bad, but as long as you know how to move on, how to step ahead, then you would be up to something better...at the moment. And who knows, time would come, we would all look back and find that the people you left behind would still be there to welcome you with arms wide open. Maybe not into corporate terms-but with the arms of deep friendship and love.
Alorica, kung sakaling iwanan na talaga kita, dadalawin pa naman kita eh. Sana huwag mong kalimutan na may isang AJ na naging ANAK mo na pasaway,nanghaharas ng ibang agents, at nanggugulo sa loob ng floor. Sana, welcome pa rin ako sa puso ng mga empleyado mo kung sakaling lisanin na kita ah.
Nagmamahal
AJ
Una mo akong pinasabak sa training ng Soft Skills under MS. Angela and Ms. Melody. Madali lang kaya pumasa ako. Alam mo ba Alorica na pinaiyak pa ko ni Ms. Melody sa Revalida namin? Siya naman kasi, inungkat pa buhay ko. Pagkatapos, ipinunta mo naman ako sa isang branch mo, sa Libis. Hinasa mo ako sa Product Training under Ms. Leah Tarroza (mommy Leigh, I love you!!) Nalaman mo ang katotohanan tungkol sa akin. Saksi palagi ang training room mo na malapit sa pantry sa mga pinagdaanan ko. Nariyan ang umiyak ako talaga dahil sa lagi kami napapagalitan ni mami leah kasi hindi kami makasagot sa tanong niya. Masyado kasi ako emotional. Sa dami ba naman ng pinagdaanan ko, talagang iiyak ako. First call ko pa diba, si Gerzon, IRATE pa ang loko. Panu ba naman, sa akin sinisi yung ginawa nung mga agents na sinira yung Internet connection niya. Buti dumating si Mam Leah, tanda ko pa linya ko nun "Hello Gerzon, I'll have you talk to my supervisor okay?", Oo naman si Gerzon. Doon ko lang narealize yung problema niya. Na-I love you pa si Mam Leah, hahalikan pa daw siya kung naroon siya sa tabi niya. Na-imagine ko tuloy kung ano yung saya ni Gerzon nung naayos ang computer at Internet niya. Second time ako na nag-call, fluent na yung kausap ko. Hindi ko alam na binabarge pala ako ni Mam Leah. My God, para akong natutunaw na ice cream sa hiya. Hindi ko masyado alam pa yung gagawin ko. After configuration page, ano na ang gagawin ko? PATAY KA NA NGAYON? Ilang beses ko nag-hold sa caller dahil ang katangahan ko umiral. Pagkatapos ng call, kinausap kami nun ni mam leah, sabi niya:
MAM LEAH
Aj, hindi ako galit ha. Please do not think of that. Ang gusto ko is matuto kayo para pagdating ninyo sa floor, alam ninyo na gagawin ninyo.
Nakuha ko gusto niya sabihin, para rin naman sa kapakanan namin iyon eh. Ayaw din niya magmukha kami tanga na trainees niya. Ang maganda lang , hindi niya sinasabihan na "Gusto mo ng TSINELAS?" Minsan kasi si mam leah, parang laging nagagalit. Iniisip ko na lang na baka may problema siya na nadadala lang sa opisina kaya iniintindi ko na lang siya, pero pagkalabas namin ng training room, BACK TO NORMAL na naman kami kung magbiruan. Parang walang nangyari.
One time, kinausap ako ni Ms. Leah. Team Endorsemtents na pala.On that day, makikilala na namin ang aming mga supervisor. Si Nel at Mike kay Mam Claire (hello mommy!!) Si Jayson at Mon, kay Ms. Maricar (twin sister ko! Ako kasi si MARIMAR eh!) Si Jami,kay Sir Riomar. Ako naman kay Sir Arvin. Dama ko yung warm ng welcome ng team niya sakin. Sabi pa nga ni mam leah: Arvin, gawin mong lalaki yan. (Kung kaya gawin ni Sir Arvin! Wahahahha!). Sa apat na sulok ng Call Center floor mo, tuluyan kong nadevelop ang sarili ko. Madami akong friends, si Ingrid, Flory Anne, Shobe, Matt, Mam Claire, Sir Chris, Ms. Feigh,Ms. Angie, si Jayson (friend siya ni May, nasa D-Link Canada) tsaka madami pang iba. Alam mo, Alorica, kung sakaling iwanan talaga kita,mamimiss kita ng sobra. Lam mo ba na umiiyak na ko habang ginagawa ko ito? Kasi ang sakit ng kalooban ko. Parang iiwanan na nga kita. Pero kailangan kong gawin, para rin naman sa ikabubuti ko ito. Pero hindi ko kayang iwanan ang kumpanyang umampon sa akin at halos ikaluha ko dahil hindi ako tinatanggap ng iba. Salamat inampon mo ako.
Now after almost a month without Alorica, adjustment is not that easy, but Im moving on, a little more push and I'll eventually get by. Mahirap lang coz you're losing not only mere friends, but a family. A family so dear, so close to my heart. I will always remember these people na sobrang naging importanteng part ng buhay ko. Goodbye is bitter, yet I guess, this is the ultimate test of everything we do. Coz if we see the bright side behind goodbye, then we can finally say that we won the game. It sure would throb, it would ache so bad, but as long as you know how to move on, how to step ahead, then you would be up to something better...at the moment. And who knows, time would come, we would all look back and find that the people you left behind would still be there to welcome you with arms wide open. Maybe not into corporate terms-but with the arms of deep friendship and love.
Alorica, kung sakaling iwanan na talaga kita, dadalawin pa naman kita eh. Sana huwag mong kalimutan na may isang AJ na naging ANAK mo na pasaway,nanghaharas ng ibang agents, at nanggugulo sa loob ng floor. Sana, welcome pa rin ako sa puso ng mga empleyado mo kung sakaling lisanin na kita ah.
Nagmamahal
AJ
Friday, October 12, 2007
WaterLoo
Now I consider myself defeated on a battle I never fought… I could have won the battle but then, I surrendered. It was a tough decision for me but winning the battle is not my deal to myself, it is winning back the friendship that has been destroyed; lost. I just do not want to fight the people I have been with for so long… people I trust and care the most. You may be wondering, if I trust them and care for them, why would they be on the other side? Well, let us just say that there are times when people’s sight gets blocked by misinterpreted and corrupted ideas. Often, it is just hard to control outside forces which makes false statements true. I must say, the problem was also with me. At first, I lost trust, and now, I am losing faith.
It is hard especially when people do not get what you mean; misunderstood. And problems like this always brings with it lessons for us. Lesson number 1: never assume that you know people even though you have already been together for a long time. Why? Just consider the very fact that nothing is permanent in this world except “change.” People change over time due to factors like their environment or even the people around them. Of course, these factors contribute a lot to how e person’s belief and values are being shaped.
I admit I have spoken harsh to them but I never regret it. I just wanted them to know how I truly feel. I am just human… there are also times when I cannot anymore control my anger. It was just sad that the outcome was not as expected. They could have asked my why but then, they just judged me right away without even having heard my side… I knew I did nothing wrong and I now I am being misunderstood; sad. Lesson number 2: when you think people know you, think again because fact is, they really don’t.
Friends are one’s treasure in life. Value them for they will be your help in times of need. They would even be the ones who will make you laugh when you are already crying. Lesson number 3: an open communication is a big factor to making your relationship with your friends stronger. Let them know how you feel. Always let them know how you see things in your own perspective. Give them your opinion. Let your voice be heard. And do the same with them… ask them how they feel, ask them their opinion, hear their voices. Lesson number 4: understanding is another factor to a lasting friendship. Understand why things happen. Ask why if you do not understand so that you will be ale to comprehend. Lesson number 5: acceptance. Learn to admit your mistakes. Learn to accept truths and facts. Lesson number 6: always be honest. Do not fake things, it will not do any help… it will only do damage. Lesson number 7: do not treat your friends as “friends,” instead; treat them as your “family.” This way, you love them unselfishly.
My life has already been a trash… just consider it as a scratch paper. Touching other’s lives and doing good to others are things I am more than happy of. I am more than willing to suffer consequences for to learn and then, I will let other people learn from my mistakes… Better let one suffer that to let everybody does.
It is hard especially when people do not get what you mean; misunderstood. And problems like this always brings with it lessons for us. Lesson number 1: never assume that you know people even though you have already been together for a long time. Why? Just consider the very fact that nothing is permanent in this world except “change.” People change over time due to factors like their environment or even the people around them. Of course, these factors contribute a lot to how e person’s belief and values are being shaped.
I admit I have spoken harsh to them but I never regret it. I just wanted them to know how I truly feel. I am just human… there are also times when I cannot anymore control my anger. It was just sad that the outcome was not as expected. They could have asked my why but then, they just judged me right away without even having heard my side… I knew I did nothing wrong and I now I am being misunderstood; sad. Lesson number 2: when you think people know you, think again because fact is, they really don’t.
Friends are one’s treasure in life. Value them for they will be your help in times of need. They would even be the ones who will make you laugh when you are already crying. Lesson number 3: an open communication is a big factor to making your relationship with your friends stronger. Let them know how you feel. Always let them know how you see things in your own perspective. Give them your opinion. Let your voice be heard. And do the same with them… ask them how they feel, ask them their opinion, hear their voices. Lesson number 4: understanding is another factor to a lasting friendship. Understand why things happen. Ask why if you do not understand so that you will be ale to comprehend. Lesson number 5: acceptance. Learn to admit your mistakes. Learn to accept truths and facts. Lesson number 6: always be honest. Do not fake things, it will not do any help… it will only do damage. Lesson number 7: do not treat your friends as “friends,” instead; treat them as your “family.” This way, you love them unselfishly.
My life has already been a trash… just consider it as a scratch paper. Touching other’s lives and doing good to others are things I am more than happy of. I am more than willing to suffer consequences for to learn and then, I will let other people learn from my mistakes… Better let one suffer that to let everybody does.
Confusions
Life is COMPLICATED. That is why sometimes, we get confused on things happening in our life. And it is quite hard to try deciphering the codes on your own. You have friends who can understand you. Tell them. They may help make it easier for you…
As I have already advised, take time pondering on things going inside you. Let your heart tell you what really will make you happy and not think what other people will say if you do this and that. So what? Are they going to be the ones who will get hurt? Life is short so try to make the best out of it. Life is full of risks though. So don’t just decide, think not only twice or thrice before doing it. But believe me, it is only you who can say what your heart really yearns for. I am only here to guide your decisions in life but not to decide for you.
In your endeavor now, I know that it will not be long until you become enlightened. I really hope that you become happy in life as what I always pray for my friends. Remember that I can only help into some extent but I promise to help you in every way I can so that your confusion will not grow that much.
Pray. Talk to yourself. After that, talk to me and let us talk about it.
It is hard to go against the flow but if it is the only way to make you happy, then go for it. Nobody else in this world can tell you what can make your life worthwhile.
As I have already advised, take time pondering on things going inside you. Let your heart tell you what really will make you happy and not think what other people will say if you do this and that. So what? Are they going to be the ones who will get hurt? Life is short so try to make the best out of it. Life is full of risks though. So don’t just decide, think not only twice or thrice before doing it. But believe me, it is only you who can say what your heart really yearns for. I am only here to guide your decisions in life but not to decide for you.
In your endeavor now, I know that it will not be long until you become enlightened. I really hope that you become happy in life as what I always pray for my friends. Remember that I can only help into some extent but I promise to help you in every way I can so that your confusion will not grow that much.
Pray. Talk to yourself. After that, talk to me and let us talk about it.
It is hard to go against the flow but if it is the only way to make you happy, then go for it. Nobody else in this world can tell you what can make your life worthwhile.
Should I wait or not.....
I planned to return to you what you earlier gave to me. 'Yun nga lang, hindi pa rin tayo nagkikita eh... I think that it should not stay with me since I might have a hard time recovering from the tragedy that I am currently experiencing. But believe me, I am not returning it because I am angry or what. I just wanted to make it easier for me stand up after being pulled down.
Guess I made another wrong move. I should have never let myself be attached to someone I know a relationship I wanted is not possible. Assuming nga siguro ako. Pasensya naman.
I should have not had faith that it can happen with you; that you could be someone who really cares for me and that I will be someone important to you… someone on top of your list (of course, exception ‘yung parents and si God). I was really right, thinking that it would still be very early to build a bridge towards you. Sabi nga nila, matagal mag-mature ang isang tao. But I think I should not wait, for it will be another wrong move. If life is compared to a race, we are too far from each other that even if I slow down and just walk just to wait for you, and you to run as fast as you can just to catch up with me, guess it will still be a long wait.
But it is only you who can tell me if I really should wait. Lagi naman ako ready maghintay whenever you tell me. Promise, just tell me and I will wait for you to grow and be able to catch up. But if not, tell me as well. Tell me if you don’t want me to wait, whatever your reasons are. Nevertheless, I will still be your friend. ‘Yun nga lang, baka may magbago na… but I will try my best to really bring back the past friendship that has gone way far now for me.
Sana kasi nakakapag-usap tayo ng maayos. Ayaw ko sana na lagi ako nagtatampo sa iyo nang dahil sa masyado akong sensitive. I am really sorry at the times I made you feel bad.
I just wanted you to know that I am happy that I have known you and that you became part of my life. I really hope that I had been a very good person to you if not a friend.
Learn to face the problems in your life... do not try finding an escape, thinking it might help you solve the problem. Fact is, it's only going to make things worse...
But I really hope that the journey for both of us will not end here… I really wanted to wait, but if it will not do any good to me, just tell me… just tell me what to do. Should I wait or should I not? ;c
Guess I made another wrong move. I should have never let myself be attached to someone I know a relationship I wanted is not possible. Assuming nga siguro ako. Pasensya naman.
I should have not had faith that it can happen with you; that you could be someone who really cares for me and that I will be someone important to you… someone on top of your list (of course, exception ‘yung parents and si God). I was really right, thinking that it would still be very early to build a bridge towards you. Sabi nga nila, matagal mag-mature ang isang tao. But I think I should not wait, for it will be another wrong move. If life is compared to a race, we are too far from each other that even if I slow down and just walk just to wait for you, and you to run as fast as you can just to catch up with me, guess it will still be a long wait.
But it is only you who can tell me if I really should wait. Lagi naman ako ready maghintay whenever you tell me. Promise, just tell me and I will wait for you to grow and be able to catch up. But if not, tell me as well. Tell me if you don’t want me to wait, whatever your reasons are. Nevertheless, I will still be your friend. ‘Yun nga lang, baka may magbago na… but I will try my best to really bring back the past friendship that has gone way far now for me.
Sana kasi nakakapag-usap tayo ng maayos. Ayaw ko sana na lagi ako nagtatampo sa iyo nang dahil sa masyado akong sensitive. I am really sorry at the times I made you feel bad.
I just wanted you to know that I am happy that I have known you and that you became part of my life. I really hope that I had been a very good person to you if not a friend.
Learn to face the problems in your life... do not try finding an escape, thinking it might help you solve the problem. Fact is, it's only going to make things worse...
But I really hope that the journey for both of us will not end here… I really wanted to wait, but if it will not do any good to me, just tell me… just tell me what to do. Should I wait or should I not? ;c
My Greatest Dilemma
Why do most of us fall for a person because of the good physical traits? Well, perhaps because it is the first thing we see, therefore, the first thing we can judge. People often equate good physical traits to good human character. But, is it really right to formulate such equation?
From a recent experience, again, I was able to prove that it does not mean that if you look good, you also have a good heart. I was able to have this chance to know this someone, quite good-looking, but then, this person is so much of a liar… masyadong pang bolero… gustong manggamit ng ibang tao para panakip-butas. In short, this person is good-looking only in the outside, not in the inside.
I hope that we all realize that keeping standards, especially physical traits, in searching for a partner is not really that bad. But bear in mind that a good face will never make you forever happy. A good heart will do that for you. Look on the inside and not on the outside. Do not be fooled by what you see. Most often than not, good things are concealed by the not-so-good objects. Like a diamond among the coal.
From a recent experience, again, I was able to prove that it does not mean that if you look good, you also have a good heart. I was able to have this chance to know this someone, quite good-looking, but then, this person is so much of a liar… masyadong pang bolero… gustong manggamit ng ibang tao para panakip-butas. In short, this person is good-looking only in the outside, not in the inside.
I hope that we all realize that keeping standards, especially physical traits, in searching for a partner is not really that bad. But bear in mind that a good face will never make you forever happy. A good heart will do that for you. Look on the inside and not on the outside. Do not be fooled by what you see. Most often than not, good things are concealed by the not-so-good objects. Like a diamond among the coal.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
How Will I Move On?
I thought I have already moved on… It was very tough for me. There is nothing more to do but to forgive and forget; move on. It is hard, especially when the other person is not helping you to recover. Instead, making you fall even further into the deep. Sad but it happens…
I really hope that people would learn to face their problems, not trying to escape from it. Well, I guess it also depends on the maturity of a person. Escaping from one’s problem is a very childish move, immaturity in a way. It takes much courage for a person to be able to face the problems and also be able to deal it with, knowing how to solve and act on it.
I am telling everyone that I have nothing against those who are still not able to conquer their fear and face the challenges in life for I have been weak, also trying to escape. For †µ__, when will YOU grow? When will YOU be more mature?
Don’t try to use other people as an “escape goat.” Be fair to them. And don’t fool yourself. You don’t have to do it just to be able to let me know that “it” is not possible with you. I totally understand. I already said that I am not expecting you to do anything for me just because you already know how I truly feel towards you. It is enough for me to know that you are aware of it. But hey, look what you are doing right now! Don’t think that I am still after you. Feeling mo naman hahabulin pa kita, hello?!
I really hope na maayos natin ito. I don’t want to lose our friendship. Sana ay ganun ka din. Let us not waste what we already had. I just don’t want what is happening right now. Everything is becoming more complicated as you do your childish acts.
Grow up. Be a man. Face the problems and fix what has to be fixed. I know that we can still bring back the friendship that has gone lost. Makipagtulungan ka, ‘wag na lalo mong pinapalala.
Hindi ako galit or something. Basta, ayusin natin ito. Ayos na ang lahat sa akin. Ikaw, mukang hindi pa. Whatever your plans are that you earlier told me, sige, if you are really serious about it, susuportahan ka namin because we are your friends.
We still are here for you. Just let us know if you still are treating us your friends. Everything is now up to you. Good luck and god bless you. Take care always.
I really hope that people would learn to face their problems, not trying to escape from it. Well, I guess it also depends on the maturity of a person. Escaping from one’s problem is a very childish move, immaturity in a way. It takes much courage for a person to be able to face the problems and also be able to deal it with, knowing how to solve and act on it.
I am telling everyone that I have nothing against those who are still not able to conquer their fear and face the challenges in life for I have been weak, also trying to escape. For †µ__, when will YOU grow? When will YOU be more mature?
Don’t try to use other people as an “escape goat.” Be fair to them. And don’t fool yourself. You don’t have to do it just to be able to let me know that “it” is not possible with you. I totally understand. I already said that I am not expecting you to do anything for me just because you already know how I truly feel towards you. It is enough for me to know that you are aware of it. But hey, look what you are doing right now! Don’t think that I am still after you. Feeling mo naman hahabulin pa kita, hello?!
I really hope na maayos natin ito. I don’t want to lose our friendship. Sana ay ganun ka din. Let us not waste what we already had. I just don’t want what is happening right now. Everything is becoming more complicated as you do your childish acts.
Grow up. Be a man. Face the problems and fix what has to be fixed. I know that we can still bring back the friendship that has gone lost. Makipagtulungan ka, ‘wag na lalo mong pinapalala.
Hindi ako galit or something. Basta, ayusin natin ito. Ayos na ang lahat sa akin. Ikaw, mukang hindi pa. Whatever your plans are that you earlier told me, sige, if you are really serious about it, susuportahan ka namin because we are your friends.
We still are here for you. Just let us know if you still are treating us your friends. Everything is now up to you. Good luck and god bless you. Take care always.
Friday, October 5, 2007
I Try
holding you so gently
give everything i give
now all i feel is emptiness
why do you have to leave?
you say we can be together
i don't know what turns wrong
what happen to forever
this day had been so long
i'm trying to ignore you
cause i can still feel the pain
i'm hoping to forget you
there's no more left to again
i try my best to love you
but hate is all i feel
after all we have been through
pretending that it's now real
all i do is trying
to mend my broken heart
but i end up crying
learning that we're apart...
give everything i give
now all i feel is emptiness
why do you have to leave?
you say we can be together
i don't know what turns wrong
what happen to forever
this day had been so long
i'm trying to ignore you
cause i can still feel the pain
i'm hoping to forget you
there's no more left to again
i try my best to love you
but hate is all i feel
after all we have been through
pretending that it's now real
all i do is trying
to mend my broken heart
but i end up crying
learning that we're apart...
I LOVE YOU
from the start you have been closed to mine
and you can't blame me if i love you all the while
the times we have spend will always be in my mind
cause you are really a different kind
how i'df wish you would learn to love me too
and if ever my wish will ever come true
i'll be very happy and stop being blue
but how can my wish will ever c0me true
if you continue loving others too
though it really hurt me deep inside
i just keep pretending that i am alright
i just hope someday you will give me the chance
to prove my love even just once
thought it really hurt me deep inside
i know we are now apart
you will always linger here in my heart
to say i love you is the least thing i could say
for i can't stand anymore the pain
i am setting you free and i will be away
since you don't love me anyway
though i am away my love for you will never die
and i promise you life, not lie
it is really hard for me to say goodbye
but i just help my tears go and pass by
honestly, it is really hard for me to decide
cause it really hurt me deep inside
i will pretend that i feel alright
and feel sorry for the rest of my life......
and you can't blame me if i love you all the while
the times we have spend will always be in my mind
cause you are really a different kind
how i'df wish you would learn to love me too
and if ever my wish will ever come true
i'll be very happy and stop being blue
but how can my wish will ever c0me true
if you continue loving others too
though it really hurt me deep inside
i just keep pretending that i am alright
i just hope someday you will give me the chance
to prove my love even just once
thought it really hurt me deep inside
i know we are now apart
you will always linger here in my heart
to say i love you is the least thing i could say
for i can't stand anymore the pain
i am setting you free and i will be away
since you don't love me anyway
though i am away my love for you will never die
and i promise you life, not lie
it is really hard for me to say goodbye
but i just help my tears go and pass by
honestly, it is really hard for me to decide
cause it really hurt me deep inside
i will pretend that i feel alright
and feel sorry for the rest of my life......
Obscure
wish i could be someone special
wish i could show you i care
wish i could be a good friend
who would always be there
looking at you from afar
is the best thing that i could do
i am just a simple girl, and you're a star
and i know i am not meant for you
even if i call out loud
you wouldn't hear my voice
with all the chaos of the crowd
all you can hear is noise
i am just a nobody
and only few people know my name
i am not like you
you have the looks, you have the name
i know i could never be
someone special in my heart
you would never notice me
and i knew it form the start
you don't even know
that i exist until today
but do not worry, cause i will be here
i will still support you come what may.....
wish i could show you i care
wish i could be a good friend
who would always be there
looking at you from afar
is the best thing that i could do
i am just a simple girl, and you're a star
and i know i am not meant for you
even if i call out loud
you wouldn't hear my voice
with all the chaos of the crowd
all you can hear is noise
i am just a nobody
and only few people know my name
i am not like you
you have the looks, you have the name
i know i could never be
someone special in my heart
you would never notice me
and i knew it form the start
you don't even know
that i exist until today
but do not worry, cause i will be here
i will still support you come what may.....
OUR TREASURED MEMORIES
i am glad that you came into my life
cause in you i have found a companion
in these years of hardwork and success
you have become one of my achievements
in times of loneliness you are on my side
ready to listen and give some advice
when i am happy you ruin in my merriment
and you send my silly thoughts
you soothe me away form grief
you make me smile everyday
you make jokes when i am so blue
that is why i am inspired by you
so if one of these days we have to go
just remember that i will cherish you
i will treasure our memories
cause i have treasured you....
and also... our FRIENDSHIPS!!!!!
cause in you i have found a companion
in these years of hardwork and success
you have become one of my achievements
in times of loneliness you are on my side
ready to listen and give some advice
when i am happy you ruin in my merriment
and you send my silly thoughts
you soothe me away form grief
you make me smile everyday
you make jokes when i am so blue
that is why i am inspired by you
so if one of these days we have to go
just remember that i will cherish you
i will treasure our memories
cause i have treasured you....
and also... our FRIENDSHIPS!!!!!
HE
it was he
he showed me
just what life supposed to be
he brought light
to the darkness of the night
he gave all
even it means his own fall
he loved me more
than his own life
what else could i ask for?
he did none
that could hurt anyone
but now he is gone.
yes, he left.
all my heartaches inside me
i've kept.
it was he....
my guide, my friend,
my teacher, my father
it was he...all was he.
but he....
he was taken away from me
all that's left is his memory
but still in my heart i see...
yes it was he......
he showed me
just what life supposed to be
he brought light
to the darkness of the night
he gave all
even it means his own fall
he loved me more
than his own life
what else could i ask for?
he did none
that could hurt anyone
but now he is gone.
yes, he left.
all my heartaches inside me
i've kept.
it was he....
my guide, my friend,
my teacher, my father
it was he...all was he.
but he....
he was taken away from me
all that's left is his memory
but still in my heart i see...
yes it was he......
FOREVERMORE
nothing in this world i can compare
the love inside of me which seemly flares
i know you are not truly aware
that you are indeed, whom my heart blares
but i used to be so timid and weary
for treating me like i'm a nobody
you deserted to be my hope to be your destiny
droplets of tears then flow secretly
but if my tears are worth your smiles
then i won't stop crying even a while
cause seeing you happy will kill my worries
hoping things won't turn a miss...
i hate myself for being too insane
cause you never stay to ease the pain
i hear my heart still calling your name
believing, you are still the same
my love will keep my heart on hoping
that a day will bring back the same old feeling
and for your promise to be fulfiled
for my maim and broken heart to be healed
but i am just a girl living in a dream
wishing for an impossible it seems
that's why i'd rather sleep for eternity
then i realize i don't have you in reality
i'm not pleading you to love me back
for it will be conceivable and that is the fact
just let me love you simply like before
cause i don't want anybody, only you...
FOREVERMORE!!!!!
the love inside of me which seemly flares
i know you are not truly aware
that you are indeed, whom my heart blares
but i used to be so timid and weary
for treating me like i'm a nobody
you deserted to be my hope to be your destiny
droplets of tears then flow secretly
but if my tears are worth your smiles
then i won't stop crying even a while
cause seeing you happy will kill my worries
hoping things won't turn a miss...
i hate myself for being too insane
cause you never stay to ease the pain
i hear my heart still calling your name
believing, you are still the same
my love will keep my heart on hoping
that a day will bring back the same old feeling
and for your promise to be fulfiled
for my maim and broken heart to be healed
but i am just a girl living in a dream
wishing for an impossible it seems
that's why i'd rather sleep for eternity
then i realize i don't have you in reality
i'm not pleading you to love me back
for it will be conceivable and that is the fact
just let me love you simply like before
cause i don't want anybody, only you...
FOREVERMORE!!!!!
Goodbye
I'll never forget the first time our eyes met
that certain feeling that my heart suddenly melt
I can't explain what I'm feeling inside
The only thing I know is that I mesmerized
your face is so familiar to me
so i keep on asking "who is he?"
i'll just hope you and I will meet again one day
but i just can't help myself to think of you day by day
finally the day has come
that God has given me that one precious time
you stared at me and asked my name
i didn't reply, its like i'm ashamed
i really don't know why
so i just let the time pass by
but i can't forget that tickling emotion
that you and I had a conversation
you stood at me and bid goodbye
i asked you to stay for a while
but, you refused to
and then i realized that there is someone waiting for you
i cannot stand the pain anymore
so i decided to let you go
for you will be a dream for me
and will never exist in reality
that certain feeling that my heart suddenly melt
I can't explain what I'm feeling inside
The only thing I know is that I mesmerized
your face is so familiar to me
so i keep on asking "who is he?"
i'll just hope you and I will meet again one day
but i just can't help myself to think of you day by day
finally the day has come
that God has given me that one precious time
you stared at me and asked my name
i didn't reply, its like i'm ashamed
i really don't know why
so i just let the time pass by
but i can't forget that tickling emotion
that you and I had a conversation
you stood at me and bid goodbye
i asked you to stay for a while
but, you refused to
and then i realized that there is someone waiting for you
i cannot stand the pain anymore
so i decided to let you go
for you will be a dream for me
and will never exist in reality
PROMISE
can you still remember when you said to me that we will end up together
when you said to me our love lasts forever
you promise that you will wait for me
cause we are meant to be
you showed how you really cared for me
and taught new ways how to love endlessly
you showed me love with no boundaries
and let me experience that unique feeling in a warmth breeze
i want to spend my life with you forever
and feel your gentle kiss and a hug so tender
i am your princess and you are my knight
and shared special moments the whole day and even through the night
you promise that you will always love me
but it seems that this will be a sort of imagination to me
because you are enjoying with other's company
and trying to forget our sweet memories...
when you said to me our love lasts forever
you promise that you will wait for me
cause we are meant to be
you showed how you really cared for me
and taught new ways how to love endlessly
you showed me love with no boundaries
and let me experience that unique feeling in a warmth breeze
i want to spend my life with you forever
and feel your gentle kiss and a hug so tender
i am your princess and you are my knight
and shared special moments the whole day and even through the night
you promise that you will always love me
but it seems that this will be a sort of imagination to me
because you are enjoying with other's company
and trying to forget our sweet memories...
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